Journal of an Extrovert

husbands

2009-09-07T23:44:00.000-07:00

tonight my husband took me to see Julie & Julia. This was after baking me chocolate chip cookies, mind you. He's amazing.

The movie has a lot to say about husbands. Both characters have great ones. There were some great moments that made me well up. When they did I would squeeze Rebs hand 3 times which is our code for, I love you. I'd turn to him & he'd look at me with his big brown eyes & smile.

And I'd think, he's just as loving & wonderful as these guys but ... he's also hot.

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

3 weeks

2009-09-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

In 3 weeks we will be driving across the country to our new life in West Virginia. It's so hard to prepare for it because I can't really imagine what it's going to be like. Right now all I can really do it appreciate the face off of California. Which I am doing. But this also makes me... not question going but melancholy about going. Now, when we go someplace I think, "This could be the last time we do this." This is so hard for me because I don't like saying good bye.

I was about to write, "I'm not good at good byes." but then I realized I don't even know what being good at them would mean.

I know, I know this is like going away to college. How you can't really ever be fully ready & leaving is hard & once you get there there's so much new to distract you that you're not sad any more. But the point is I'm sad now because I'm in the sad part.

I'm sad to be taking apart our first home that we made beautiful, & made memories in. Where we started our tradition of telling each other one reason we love each other every night. Where there were balloons everywhere, courtesy of our friends the day we got back from our honeymoon. Where we have a photo collage that I can't look at without remembering the big fight we had about what picture to hang where. Where we handed out 3 pieces of candy on Halloween & carved pumpkins the next day. Where we had our first Christmas tree complete with homemade decorations. Where our nephews have slept in improvised beds. Where I learned to bake bread & cakes that Rebs is much better at decorating than I am. Where we've hosted many, many parties. We've only been here a year but it was a momentous one.

I'm sad to be leaving all the amazing places both metropolitan & natural that northern California has to offer. Oh, the beach. What will I do without a beach? What will I do without taquerias?

I'm sad to be giving up a certain measure of autonomy in my life that comes from living with just one beloved other & having so many resources (including money). I know I willingly chose this life of community & simplicity. But still...

I'm also sad or maybe, more accurately, scared to give up all the trendy clothes, accessories, & make up that I use to move about in the world. These things, as much as I hate to admit it, give me a certain confidence that I will miss.

But mostly, I just so sad to be moving away from all the wonderful friends we have here in California. We are so friend-rich here, we are so blessed. I'm just so saddened & frightened by the thought that these relationships will change with our move. It is inevitable. And of course, we are not ending these friendships but the truth is some of them will end. And all of them will change.

All summer we have been working the hang-out-with-us while you-still-can angle. And have had such great fun. I have laughed so much. I have been so encouraged. I have learned & challenged to grow. I have been so filled with gratitude. And it was all so effortless.

I do not take effortlessness for granted. I know it will have to be nurtured with the new people we will meet.

But no matter how sad I am I am still certain that this is the right path for us.

And so, we have begun to pack. And purge. And remember.

And I need your prayers. Because it is sad.

religulous

2009-09-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

last week my love & I were on vacation in a tiny town that dates back to the Gold Rush. We spent a lot of time at the beach & had a great time conquering the water tramp & blob-ish thing.

We also watched the documentary Religulous. Now, you know I love me a good documentary. I don't even really care what the subject is, I just want to learn more. And more. And more. If you feel the same way to can I NOT recommend Religulous? It is basically Bill Maher talking to people of different faiths trying to figure out why they believe what they believe. Or, at least that's what I thought it was supposed to be except it wasn't. He didn't let people talk! Instead he'd make an exaggerated generalization of their beliefs & before they could finish explaining why they believe that he'd step in with another sarcastic comment. I wish he would have been more open to dialogue but I think he was too invested in pointing out the absurdities & dichotomies in religion. So disappointing. Especially the segment with the Catholic priest. The Catholic priest was trying to explain that yes, there is a problem with a religion that preaches to feed the poor & yet builds buildings out of gold.

Because we Catholics (OK maybe not all of us) know that our faith is absurd & sometimes we say things & do the opposite. But we don't think we're perfect. We're human. We're muddlin' through. We don't get it all right but we're trying.

Bill Maher kept asking everyone, "What if you're wrong? What if it's not true?" Usually he didn't give people a chance to respond but when they did they'd say stuff like, "Better be safe than sorry."

To the "What if you're wrong?" question I say,

Who cares?

I am probably wrong. Who am I to have the market on truth? What are the chance that any one faith, church, person has it completely right?

But even if I am wrong my faith gives my life a hope & a purpose. And sometimes, a semblance of peace. And I am often moved to tears by the beauty of this broken world because of my faith

Who cares if I am wrong?

Without my faith I would have no motivation. If I didn't believe it's important to help people I wouldn't know what I am supposed to be doing with my life.

Because at the end of the day, I just want my life to have mattered.

dear mom

2009-08-27T23:20:00.001-07:00

Rebs thinks this is the funniest picture ever. I think you know why.

Please don't take away his title as your favorite Son in Law.

the tale of the ring

2009-08-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

pre-party: Rushing out of the house late as usual. Slide a ring onto the wrong finger & think, "Oh crap! That's going to be hard to get off."

at party:

Planning to take ring off as soon as guests leave no matter what.

after party:

Dip hand in ice water, use soap & lotion all to no avail. Husband & wise friend say, "Just go to bed, it'll slip off in the morning."

morning after:

Yes, that is a saw in my lovely husband's hand. No, it didn't work.

Lovely husband & wise friend go out to buy this tool:

Notice the look of intense concentration (which I intensely appreciated).

At last! FREEDOM!

The aftermath.

To the chagrin of lovely husband & wise friend I placed the remaining 2 bands right back on the same finger. What? It fit perfectly after the operation.

To the joy of lovely husband & wise friend it turned my finger green & I threw the damn thing away.

The End.

holy crap

2009-08-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am moving to West Virginia in ONE MONTH!!!

We should really start packing & paring down the possessions.

Or we could just spend every remaining minute with friend & general enjoyment of our Californian life

like we have been

ALL SUMMER!!!!!!!

Rebs & I are probably the only 2 unemployed people in the country who are loving life so much right now.

in my fridge

2009-08-04T14:06:00.001-07:00

in my fridge there is an egg that looks like this:

Why?

Because that is the way my husband lets me know it's been boiled....

& is now, wait for it....

HARD.

dear blog

2009-08-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

I miss you. I am coming back soon.

I promise.

love,

things I would rather

2009-06-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

have found in my office last night:

a raccoon

a small child with a dirty diaper

a sizable snake

a frog

an IRS agent

a mouse

a feral cat

a shark

or even the corpse of this thing:

What I did find was the actual living version of it. And I just walked away.

Because I don't handle any spiders well.

Because this one was the size of my hand.

Because I wanted to appear to be a cool collected youth minister in front of the other person in my office who left as soon as she saw the sucker.

Because I'm a chicken.

Walking away did solve the problem for yesterday but definitely didn't help today!

The only way this could be worse is if it was a Zombie Spider, that's a spider who has been killed & then comes back to a live a sad, scurrying, shadow of its past life scaring the bejebus out of me.

AHHHH! Is it on me? I feel it on me!

I also compounded the problem greatly by looking spider images & therefore seeing horrible images of spider bites.

HELP!

I should have whacked the sucker when I had the chance. Now I have no idea where it is!

furthermore

2009-06-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

I was driving to a meeting on Sunday morning & Vienna Teng's song "City Hall" came on the radio about the day she & her girlfriend drove up from LA to get married in SF. It is beautiful & it made me cry. Listen to it. Pray about it.

I love being married & everything about it! I can't imagine a world in which Andy & I wouldn't be allowed to get married. I want all of my friends to have that choice!

lyrics:

me and my baby on a february holiday

'cause we got the news

yeah, we got the news

500 miles and we're gonna make it all the way

we've got nothing to lose

it's been 10 years waiting

but it's better late than the never

we've been told before

we can't wait one minute more

oh, me and my baby driving down

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall

oh, me and my baby stand in line

you've never seen a sight so fine

as the love that's gonna shine

at city hall

me and my baby've been through

a lot of good and bad

learned to kiss the sky

made our momma's cry

I've seen a lot of friends

after giving it all they had

lay down and die

10 years into it

here's our window

at the vegas drive-thru chapel

it ain't too much

for 'em all to handle

oh, me and my baby driving down

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall

oh, me and my baby stand in line

you've never seen a sight so fine

as the love that's gonna shine

at city hall

outside, they're handing out

donuts and pizza pies

for the folks in pairs in the folding chairs

my baby's lookin' so damned pretty

with those anxious eyes

rain-speckled hair

and my ring to wear

10 years waiting for this moment of fate

when we say the words and sign our names

if they take it away again someday

this beautiful thing won't change

oh, me and my baby driving down

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall

oh, me and my baby stand in line

you've never seen a sight so fine

as the love that's gonna shine

oh, me and my baby driving down

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall

oh, me and my baby stand in line

you've never seen a sight so fine

as the love that's gonna shine

at city hall

marriage

2009-05-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday CA courts upheld the ban on same-sex marriage. Sucky.

Yes, I am an active, practicing Catholic. Yes, I'm even a minister in the Catholic church. I also wholeheartedly support gay marriage. I fail to see how allowing other people to experience the beauty & challenge that is marriage some how takes away from it. I think anytime people want to make a public commitment to loving each other we should support it.

I heard someone suggest that if the whole debate is about the use of the word marriage we could just take the word out of legal usage. That way under the law all couples, gay or straight, can be enter into unions but marriage would just be used for everyday language, religious ceremonies, etc. I don't know if this would satisfy everyone but I would gladly give up the legal word marriage if that meant we could all be equal. If gay couples can't be "married" under the law perhaps we straights shouldn't get to use the word anymore either.

Of course then there's the trouble that the Catholic Church isn't going to marry gay couples any time soon. I think we're going to find ourself on the wrong side of this issue.

last bite

2009-05-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

I just heard someone say that while they were growing up in Catholic school the nuns always said the first thing that happens to you when you get to heaven is you have to sit down at a huge table & eat every bite of food that you ever wasted in life.

This strikes me as so funny. You're not allowed into heaven until you've completely sickened yourself on old food? How does that fit into the big picture?

If it is true I'll be eating a mountain of old, crusty, last bites of sandwich. I never eat the last bite. I have no good reason. Maybe if I knew they'd all be waiting for me in heaven I start eating them.

What would be waiting for you?

i just don't get

2009-05-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

the following:

Donald Trump's being respected.
Any task involving a check book, taxes, or the DMV.
How to plan travel.
How to feed myself well, affordably, sustainably, & without having things go bad in the fridge before we eat them.
Why the Guantanamo prisoners are considered so much more dangerous than other criminals & why having them on our soil increases our danger.
The popularity of American Idol.
How the geese outside of our apartment can be so dang loud & honky.
How to prevent the chocolate chips in my homemade muffins from sinking to the bottom.
Poverty & why we are OK with it.

I'm sure the list will continue but now, to bed.

new location for 2009 G8 summit

2009-05-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

Bet you weren't expecting that...*

So basically, Berlusconi is moving the G8 Summit from this crazy luxurious location on cruise ships in the Mediterranean to barrack formerly used to house married couples during training for a police force near L'Aquila which was damaged by an earthquake this spring.

Not all of these details are in the article below but I heard it on All Things Considered on NPR. Anyway, the point is we're talking much simpler accommodations than these guys (& gals) are used to. Like, bunkers & cafeterias. I think it awesome.

A friend of mine, who is a little bit genius & a little dreamer, used to fantasize about running a Third World simulation camp where anyone who wanted to run for public office would have to live for 2 weeks in abject poverty. For perspective, you know. I love it.

So, this might be as close as we get but it's still pretty great. Now the only question is, will Berlusconi himself, actually stay in the same place?

Politics: G8 summit to move to L'Aquila. Thursday, April 23rd 2009

The Italian government has voted to change the location of the upcoming G8 summit in July from La Maddalena island in Sardinia to L'Aquila, which was heavily damaged by the 6 April earthquake. Prime minister Silvio Berlusconi has said that holding the G8 in L'Aquila would keep the world from forgetting about the earthquake-ravaged area and provide world leaders with an opportunity to see examples of the architectural and artistic heritage their contributions will help to restore.

Berlusconi also said that hosting the G8 summit in luxurious La Maddalena would send the wrong message given the present economic climate, and that the government would be saving around €220 million by moving the conference to L'Aquila.

*especially after all the girlyness that preceded. But it's my blog & I'll blog how I want to.

back when i was single

2009-05-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

i used to do crazy things to attract boys that i liked. It was ridiculous. Not really the things I did, mostly the things I thought about doing & the sheer amount of time I spent thinking about doing said crazy things.

For example, I'm pretty sure that if Facebook had been around back when I was single I would have obsessively checked my guy's profile ALL THE TIME. Admittedly, that might be a little crazy but I'm sure a lot of girls do that. But I'm pretty sure I would have taken the crazy up a notch by posting a status update immediately after him every time so he would see our names together & think, "We should BE together!"

Now that I am married I...
a. realize that no boy in the history of the world would ever think that due to close proximity of postings, or for that matter, notice said proximity.
b. I really appreciate the lower level of crazy that came from Rebs taking me in.

Does that make me sound like a stray? I'm cool with that, in reality, I probably need about as much care as a baby bird with a broken wing sometimes.

WARNING: I know I've been away a while, working on the Farmyland blog which I feel has to be more mature. spiritual, serious since teens from the ministry, their parents, & potential donors will be looking at it. So here is where you'll get the random minutiae. Enjoy.

where have I been?

2009-05-14T22:34:00.001-07:00

I have been here:

www.farmingandes.com

Join me!

long overdue

2009-05-06T13:26:00.000-07:00

I know, I know I've been neglectful. So let's begin.

Why are we so happy?

Besides the usual living-an-incredibly-blessed-newly-wedded-life-in beautiful-Northern-California way?

Because we are moving on to something incredibly exciting & adventurous & inspiring. We got the job. We're moving to Bethlehem Farm in West Virginia to live a crazy, prayer-filled, intentional life of service & simplicity.

So, yes, the pictures from my last post are from our trip out there. We spent 9 days in there getting to know the community members, seeing what life may be like there, & exploring what our areas our responsibility may be. And we loved it. The slogan of Bethlehem Farm is, "Welcome Home" and we felt very welcomed home. This was the end of an almost 2 year process of applying & it truly seems like a great fit, dare I say, "calling" for us.

I've been creating a website to explain this whole deal to the world at large, or perhaps just family & friends so that's part of the blogging neglect. When it's up you'll be some of the first to know.

Some logistics in the meantime, we're moving sometime in September. Right now I'm still at my job (& will be until they tell me to leave), the teens in the ministry were quite shocked & that's been difficult but it'll be OK. And... I think that's all for now.

More later.

Much more!

high jinx???

2009-04-23T21:46:00.001-07:00

i hope not!

credit: lifted from their facebook page. I always forget to take pictures.

it's quite fun

2009-04-22T16:26:00.000-07:00

for me to check out what everyone is reading as I walk through the aisle of a plane.

The best was two summer ago when everyone was reading the last Harry Potter book & everyone wanted to talk about it without giving anything away. It was like a nation-wide community builder.

I wish we could have more of those.

What do ya'll want to read this summer?

reward

2009-04-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

I was driving very early this morning & heard about how they're offering a $100,000 reward for information on who cut the fiber optics cable yesterday downing all of AT&T phones line. And I think to myself,

"I should tell them who did it! We could really use $100,000."

Totally ignoring the fact that I have no idea who cut the fiber optics cable yesterday.

So apparently I'm going into the Harriet the Spy biz.

Any leads would be appreciated.

while he's away, part II

2009-04-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

I think to myself,

"I can't even sleep without him!"

Then I roll to the middle of the bed & think,

"Oh, nevermind."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

while he's away

2009-04-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

Rebs called tonight, here's a sample conversation:

Me: (whining) I miss you. (dramatically) I can't remember what you look like, what you smell like, what you feel like...

Him: (interrupting) Look at a picture.

Me: Damn! You're pretty!

It's true, check it.

this is me

2009-04-06T13:24:00.000-07:00

My great grandma, who I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time with when I was little, & whose legacy is my tendency towards worry, used to grab me tightly as we approached an escalator & re-tell me the story of a girl who got sucked under the stairs because of a loose pant-leg or untied shoe.

I'm a still scared of these things!

I try to play it cool when approaching them but my feet alway hesitate before taking the first step causing a traffic jam. It's a bit like the scene from Elf when Will Ferrell first encounters an escalator. Rebs usually laughs at me & pushes me forward before I'm ready, making my heart stop. And if I'm wearing heels I clutch him as if he's my life preserver in the middles of shark-infested waters.

What are your irrational fears?

lovefool

2009-04-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

Even though you have the memory of a rather older man.
Even though you daily leave your accoutrements scattered across our bathroom counter.
Even though you are a crabby stress monkey when facing a big retreat.
Even though you don't let me put my icy feet under you in bed.
Even though you don't consider chips & salsa a complete meal.
Even though you don't let me win at dominoes.
Even though you make fun of my midwestern accent.
Even though your favorite movies list includes Armageddon.
Even though you make me stick to my Lenten resolution even when I don't want to.
Even though your laundry is gigantic which makes doing it a much more difficult chore.
Even though you do not think heaven is a sunny day spent lying on a beach.
Even though sometimes you ask me to stop singing.
Even though you listen to sports talk radio.
Even though you won't wear the awesome Nigerian soccer jacket I picked out just for you. (Yes, I know you're white.)
Even though you haven't read all the books I'd like to you to.
Even though you don't share my open minded view on $2 wine.
Even though you make me do things I'm scared of.
Even though you go to work everyday instead of just hanging out with me like I ask.
Even though you have prettier hair than I do.
Even though you make really, really lame puns.
Even though you haven't given me a copy of the new Brett Dennen album yet.
Even though you have really bad taste in greeting cards.
Even though you are not as easily amused by the following: small children, animals, parades, romantic comedies, & fireworks.
Even though you spent 7 hours yesterday conquering the Rubik's cube.

I love you.

Actually, it's because of all those things.

my hands

2009-04-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

smell like potato. Tonight I attempted to make potato pancakes without a mix using this recipe from Real Simple. It was NOT successful. They were neither very potato-y, or pancake-y or even good-tasting. This couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I didn't measure anything or that I added ingredients, could it? No, seriously I think it was just a junky recipe. We didn't make the lamb b/c generally we don't buy meat, too much work.

Honestly, I just shared this because I wanted another entry under the label "smelly".

did i?

2009-04-04T20:49:00.000-07:00

ever bake bread? Yes, yes I did. I made honey- wheat & it turned out pretty great. It wasn't perfect, I think it should have been a bit lighter & fluffier. I'm sure this was a kneading problem since I've never done it before. Still, it was delicious, especially when it first came out of the oven & it made our house smell awesome. I'll definitely be trying again soon.

hundred day

2009-04-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

so that last post was my 100th. I wanted my 100th one to be intentional, momentous but then I couldn't resist writing about the Outrage (which is how I'll refer to it for at least a day).

Remember Hundred Day in elementary school?

On the one hundredth day of school everyone is supposed to bring in one hundred somethings; beads, toy cars, gumballs, feathers, baseball cards, cookies, whatever. Back them a hundred seemed like a huge number. Since then a hundred seems to expand & shrink depending on the situation: $100 in fees from overdrawing my checking account??? Big & sucky, but a hundred pink & red balloons to fill Andy's room a few Valentines days ago? Not nearly enough, piddlin' really. So, back to the party store. A hundred wedding guests? Not enough! A hundred teens at a youth event? Not enough adults! A hundred blog entries? A drop in the blogosphere.

Really nowadays I feel like that's the case with so many things: days can seem like they last forever while a whole year flies by.

Meanwhile, today I feel like Lent is lingering a bit longer than I would choose but I console myself with the thought that it's not even a hundred days.

are you kidding me????

2009-04-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

I am furious! I just saw a media piece debating whether or not this ant-domestic violence ad with Keira Knightly in it is too violent or shocking. That is a completely senseless debate! How dare someone in the media suggest that we shouldn't show an act of violence in order to bring awareness about violence against women??? The media is filled with those same images, & much more grotesque ones, simply for entertainment purposes.

Perhaps an ad that is shocking & is followed by actual information & resources about domestic violence will make someone actually care about it rather than just callously viewing it as a thrilling addition to another plot line that glories & glamorizes violence.

Outrage, sheer outrage.

want to see the future?

2009-03-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

read this.

I really believe this where we're headed. I've read it a few times before & thought about picking it up again recently but I couldn't face it. But its really good if you're in the right space. If you read it let me know what you think.

I'm tempted to give myself an assignment to read it & print out new stories that correspond with the book, tuck them in the pages, & wrap it up for some future generation to find. Sometimes I really believe when I die people will research my life as they do famous people & they'll be interested in all these random thoughts.

Surely, I can't be the only one.

one of my goals for this week

2009-03-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

is to make homemade bread. I have never done this before but I feel like it could be a really spiritual act. Which is weird because generally I think of the kitchen as a place of minor burns & cuts occur rather than a place of meditation & holiness.

We shall see, I'll probably have to wait until Friday for my day off.

I have this dream of the teen girls in the ministry joining forces with the rest of the women for a daylong women's retreat. I picture many generations gathering together, making bread. I don't know where it came from but it's a powerful image with me right now.

We shall see...

Meanwhile if you have a bread recipe I'd love to see it.

two by two or, a simple rhyme scheme

2009-03-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

ipod perturberances

a. Earbuds -too big to make using them fun.

b. Spinny dial- surprisingly tricky for me

songs you should hear immediately

a. Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch

b. Hey Ya by Obadiah Parker

notable st. patrick's day

a. Rebs made delicious corned beef & cabbage.

b. One guest did all of the dishes. I feel surprised & very grateful. Such a thoughtful gesture.

dinner of condiments

a. middle eastern flatbread dipped in hummus

b. and cucumber tzatziki

words I CANNOT spell

a. tzatziki

b. definitely - I always have to look it up.

family news

a. someone lost a job. Sucky.

b. someone won a free honeymoon. Awesome.

luring into my California web

a. BFF hopefully coming for a week while Rebby is gone

b. trying to convince mi madre to visit for a girl's weekend

thoughts I often have while working out with my new trainer

a. "Why do you think I can do this? I don't think I can do this!"

b. "I am paying this man to hurt me?!?"

I wish to own

a. hammock

b. 2 trees from which to hang item a.

holdovers from the wedding that I dread doing

a. thank you notes - so late it's embarrassing.

b. photo albums - how to narrow down from 2,000 photos?

need to happen around these parts STAT

a. laundry- we're this close to wearing each other's clothes, stinky but if people keep their distance at least they won't know we're re-using dirty clothes.

b. grocery shopping - see; dinner of condiments

I'm praying my guts out about

a. Los Gatos High School which has lost 3 students in the past 4 months

b. discerning the future

lenten lessons

a. prayer is good, praying in color is really working for me.

b. it's easier for me to appreciate my blessings when the weather is so nice.

days on which we have hosted parties

a. Saturday

b. Yesterday

what the economy has me wondering

a. "Why didn't Communism work out?"

b. "Why does John Stewart seem to have the most justice-oriented dialogue going right now?

it makes me sad

2009-03-11T11:38:00.001-07:00

that the only time most people start to care & talk about certain problems is when they affect a celebrity. For example, when was the last time you thought about domestic violence before the Chris Brown/Rihanna story broke? Or considered sexual assault since Kobe was accused?

Don't get me wrong I'm glad people are talking now, but half of the information out there is incredibly victim blaming instead of educating people about the issues.

I guess education makes for lousy headlines on those tabloids in the grocery store.

Poverty will never get this kind of play because celebrities never have to choose between feeding their kids & paying rent.

I really hope there's a bright side to this recession/downturn/depression that results in people examining their values. In fact, I going to stop hoping, start praying, & look at my own values right now.

we're celebrating

2009-03-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

He chose:

pg. 27 Margaritas as we talked about the retreat he just finished.

pg. 34 Taste testing the guacamole as I prepped fajitas.

pg. 41 Opening his present (because wifey couldn't wait to give it to him any longer) which was 2 tickets to see Brett Dennen at the Filmore next Friday. I wonder who he'll take??

pg. 86 After a laughy, fun dinner, time in the hot tub rather than a moonlight walk

pg. 107 ... well, that was my favorite part... :)

Happy Birthday, one day early, my Love!

everytime

2009-03-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

i hear the phrase Octo-mom I picture this:

And it scares the ova right out of me.

Can we just use her name if we're going to keep obsessing about her in the media?

Poor babies.

(I had to change the picture- the 1st one was too friendly looking.)

corned beef & marriage

2009-03-06T11:40:00.001-08:00

I went to the funeral of a wonderful man this week. I was so sad to hear he had passed away even though I know he is with God. But still sad because I never told him what a wonderful person he was to me or truth be told, visit him as I had promised.

Fr. Fry was the host of Rebs & mine first date. The first time he & I hung out was St. Patrick's day. Fr. Fry had invited Rebs over for corned beef & cabbage. Rebs invited me. The whole time Fr. Fry told us stories & told me what a great guy Rebs was (which I already suspected). There is a funny second part to the story of our first date but this isn't that story.

At the funeral many stories were told about what a wonderful person Fr. Fry was including how he matched up quite a few other couples & cooked corned beef & cabbage for many friends. I feel honored to be one of those stories. Fr. Fry always made me feel great just be being around him. He was a blessing to all of us & I hope to be like that someday.

Thank you Fr. Fry, I hope you're still having a good time.

and finally

2009-03-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

what I've been reading. Actually re-reading for the fourth-ish, maybe fifth-ish time, the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde. Such fun, funny, engaging books. Especially for people who love books or studied literature, like Harry Potter for such people. I intensely recommend them, they are pure escape for those us whose bags aren't big enough to fit an entire 2 week vacation to the Greek Isles. Enjoy!

Oh, read them in order though, or you'll be mightily confused:

The Eyre Affair

Lost In a Good Book

The Well of Lost Plots

Something Rotten

The Big Over Easy

The Fourth Bear

First Among Sequels

first fridays

2009-03-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

are the day that some friends & I have chosen to meet at a coffee shop for some spiritual food. We take turns planning a topic or faith practice to share & to pray. It is great. Even though it happens a 6:00am which is not a time great things usually happen for me.

Today we prayed with color. I love it. I am committing myself to doing this for a week. I don't want to write about it because it's not so much a word thing. So here is mine from this morning where we all shared an intention:

For more words on this I encourage you to check out this website:

www.prayingincolor.com

which reminds me

2009-03-06T08:51:00.001-08:00

of something that is stuck in my head.

On Inauguration Day President Obama, in the midst of beautiful speech filled with hope, reality, & responsibility, said, "We will not apologize for our way of life nor waver in it's defense..." This stood out to me because it w

as clipped & repeated on NPR so many times in the following days.

I think our way of life leads a lot to be apologized for. I think a humble look at this would be a good place to start, a recognition that our way of life has much to do with why we are here now.

I think we should apologize for the fact that people are sleeping on our streets, children are going to school hungry, people are unable to find work. We should apologize to the rest of the world for using more than our fair share

of the earth's resources & polluting the planet. We should apologize for allowing people to struggle for clean water & a bite to eat. We should apologize for the fact that only the wealthy have access to the best health care & education. We should apologize to women who have unplanned pregnancies, that their choices are killing their child or struggling to support their children with little help from those who care so much about birth but not about life. We should apologize to the rest of the world for only entering into conflicts that threaten desired resources but not those that threaten non-American life. We should apologize for our worship of money, fame, power, glamour & our empty lip service to peace, love, dignity, & equality.

Ahhh! The list is so long! But I'm going to stop because I don't want to get into a debate with any one.

Also because I recognize that I contribute to these things as well.

And because I just want to go sit in the arms of my fuzzy rhino now.

Image from here.

a man was sleeping on the street

2009-03-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

this morning. To be honest, there were probably a lot of men, women, & children sleeping on the street this morning. But I was up before the sun, driving to meet with some friends for prayer & I saw this man.

I kept driving. I told myself I saw wrong, it wasn't a man curled near the mailbox post, it was bags, trash waiting to be picked up.

But I wasn't fooled.

I turned around. It was a man.

I stopped. I took the blanket out of my trunk. I snuck up on him & laid it on him, praying he wouldn't wake up.

Because I was scared. And I didn't really want to do it.

What if he woke up? What if he asked for more? What if he wanted more? A ride? Some cash? A place to stay? Things I didn't feel I could give.

What if he was angry at me? For butting in? For not butting in enough?

I didn't want to do it. But I had to. Because I have lots of blankets, a warm car, a soft bed, a comfortable home.

Because if I hadn't it makes everything I preach nonsense.

But just doing that one thing isn't enough & I could still be a hypocrite.

I know I am called to more but often I am stopped by my unwillingness to see, by my fear, by worry I will be called to sacrifice more than I want to.

Lord, help me.

But mostly, help me help him & all the others sleeping on the street.

another glimpse

2009-03-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

into our marriage:

It starts with markerboard messages...

Rebs, one morning when I ask him to let me sleep in instead of waking me up to say goodbye:

"I love you, Honey,

so much more than a bunny." adds a sketch of a bunny.

I respond:

"Bunny!?? Yum!"

Later in the week while at a conference I steal his notebook to draw these:

I just want to keep him on his toes.

npr junkie

2009-03-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

yes, that is me. I listen to it all the time especially in the car. But right now listening to it makes me want to spend time in the arms of a giant, fuzzy hippo.

I know hippos aren't fuzzy. I suppose that's why God sent me Rebs, who is.

I love it! And the rest of him!

here's what it's actually about

2009-03-04T10:31:00.000-08:00

“Lent? Who has the time????”

It’s fair to say that we are a busy people. I recently came across a quote that sums this up pretty well saying, “If the devil doesn’t cause you to sin, he’ll just keep you really busy.” And right away I was inspired & I thought, “Well, dang doesn’t that just describe my struggle with Lent? I mean, seriously, who has the time nowadays to fit in more prayer, more faith practices?”

Lent is the season that we set apart for prayer, sacrifice, & fasting. Did you know that one definition of the word “holy” is set apart? Lent is a holy time, set apart. But if you’re anything like me & the people I’ve talked to the setting apart doesn’t come easy. Even in this holy season there’s work to be done, tests to take, laundry to do, kids to be deposited at various activities. How do we slow down in all of this & truly set apart time for prayer & deep breaths & life-giving conversation? Which, after all is what Jesus spent his time doing.

I would have made a horrible Jesus. If I knew that I had just 3 years to spread God’s message of love to the world in such a way that it would last for all time I would have been going crazy. Something like this, “Alright disciples let run down this week’s schedule once more: Peter, you & James go & explain to the Pharisees one more time why its Ok to cast out demons on the Sabbath, try to use some sort of metaphor, that usually keeps them busy for a few days. John, Andrew, & the other James there are a bunch of lepers in Galilee who could use some healing, take care of that will ya? Mary, can you confirm our dinner plans at the tax collector’s house on Wednesday? Good. Let’s see what else? John the Baptist is still in prison, Lazarus just croaked, we’ve to clean out the Temple, my mother wants some help catering a friends wedding, we’re hosting a mountaintop picnic for 5,000 on Saturday. Judas seems to have wandered off some where again. Mark, can you go find him? Tomas, stop doubting! As I have explained before, “If God is for us who can be against us?” Clearly a ministry like that would have burned out in a few short months.

Instead, Jesus modeled the gift of spending quality time with those he loved. This includes time set apart to be with his Father in prayer. Immediately after being baptized Jesus spends forty days in the desert before beginning his baptism. He sets this time apart before setting out to proclaim the Gospel message. This is what Lent is meant to be for us as well, a time set apart in preparation to renew our Baptismal call, that we may live out the Gospel message more fully.

Did you ever notice how often when Jesus prays he does it on a mountain or some remote location? Think about it, climbing a mountain or going on a pilgrimage is a sacrifice. Mountaintops are so darn high & difficult to get to. It’s a serious commitment to setting time apart. In next Sunday’s Gospel Jesus & his disciples are on a mountaintop. They get away from the craziness of their life to follow God’s will. As difficult as these journeys are it is on the mountaintop that miraculous things happen. That is where God’s will & glory is revealed.

I’m not suggesting that we all need to spend this Lent wandering a desert or climbing mountains looking for glowing apparitions of prophets. But I do know that I want my life to be seeped in God’s will & glory. What I am suggesting is that prayer can be one way to achieve this. Sometimes for us with our crazy schedules, spending time in prayer with God is like climbing a mountain. First, you have decide to set apart the time when perhaps you can think of 50 things that sound more fun, easier & appealing than climbing a mountain. It takes discipline to climb a mountain, just as it does to set apart time with God. If you’re out of shape the way to the top can be incredibly grueling. If you’re out of practice with prayer this can be a frustrating thing. How do we find our way back to God? But the Scriptures remind us that God never leaves us.

Prayer is not about calling God back to us. God hasn’t moved. Prayer is about turning ourselves back to the Lord. If this is difficult for you, if the second you set yourself down for a quiet moment you either fall asleep or your mind immediately fills up with thoughts of this world, take baby steps. Don’t try to jump right into prayer. Simply seek the silence. Listen to your breath, that breath is our connection to the Holy Spirit who lives & breathes in us. This is your path to the mountaintop of the Lord. And the mountaintop is where God’s glory is revealed.

This Lent let us sacrifice that which, while it does not cause us to sin, keeps us too busy to visit the mountaintop of the Lord. Let us pray to see God’s glory in the quiet moments of our lives.

For up to date thoughts on Lent check out my musings on theIntersection Teen Ministry site.

one time, i thought about being a nun...

2009-03-04T10:22:00.000-08:00

but it was Lent & it turned out I just really needed some chocolate.

an interview with myself

2009-02-23T20:01:00.000-08:00

Why not? It's my blog. And I am drinking wine...

1. Do you think blogging is an egotistical hobby?
Yes, I think it is a bit vain in nature but also quite harmless. I don't think I'm in any real danger since I have less readers than I do fingers on one hand. But a free activity that encourages people to write & be a bit more self-reflective can only help communication in the wider world, right?

2. If you could go back in time and meet yourself 10 years ago, would you tell your former self anything about the future?

I would try very hard not to tell myself anything specific, but I am notoriously bad at keeping surprises surprises. I would tell myself, "Oh Baby, it going to be so much bigger & better than you can imagine. Don't be so hard on yourself, just do your best & be kind to everyone else who is trying to do the same."

This is probably really good advice for right now, as well.

3. OK, confess. Do you have a secret ambition? Something which you may never actually achieve, but you're still holding on to in a corner of your brain?

My secret ambition is to do stand up comedy. Why? Because I like to tell stories, & make people laugh, & love to be the center of attention. Stand up comedy is clearly perfect for me, if I was brave enough. I'm scared of the sound of crickets. And, Rebs, when I told him that I wanted to do this said, "But... you're not funny." Not so supportive! He later modified that to say, I'm funny but not stand-up funny. Whatever, I've already decided that if I am discovered I won't share any of my comedy millions with him.

Someday, I will try it out at an open mic night. You know, under a pseudonym, in Iowa, when I'm 83 & have nothing left to lose.

What do I have to lose now???

unreliable narrator

2009-02-23T19:11:00.001-08:00

as an English major there was a lot of debate in my education about who is a reliable narrator.

I think it all began with The Great Gatsby.

I'm no reliable narrator.

Oh, Bloggie, I have neglected you.

Oh, Reader, I only write that which makes me look as I want to appear.

I know, I know, we all do the same. We all update our Facebooks with the mundane, the comical, the flattering, even the quirks, but never the whole, self-revelatory, earthy, embarrassing, fragile truth.

And so, it's OK.. It's the best we can do & all we really want anyway. Or all I want at least.

But anyway, I'm attempting a comeback.

baby's first...

2009-02-09T20:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, let's reiterate, I'm really glad Obama is our president. He has given me a renewed hope for our country.

But

I really think the media is being quite funny about the whole thing. Every story is, "Today is Obama's first ride in Airforce One," "Obama gave his first press conference today," or "Obama ate his first meal off of the White House china..." It seems like excited new parents who document every milestone of their first born.

Oh well, I guess anything to distract people from how scary the economy is right now.

sand in my boots, words in my mouth, & phlegm in my throat

2009-02-05T21:54:00.000-08:00

Yep. That's the latest update. I got the greatest pair of pink rubber galoshes in time for a retreat & for the 1st time in my history it did not rain on our retreat weekend. But I ended up having to wear them all weekend anyway b/c I forgot to pack other shoes so I'm sure I looked slightly deranged all weekend. The retreat itself was awesome. The teens were so engaged, open, & thoughtful in all of the activities; they exceeded my expectations. Also, we had 18 great leaders which makes any retreat really fun & easy to run. So, yay! Yay! to a great experience & Yay! to it being done.

"misquote"unquote

Recently there was an article written about me & youth ministry in a local Catholic publication. That in itself is rather flattering & I feel happy that someone thinks I'm doing a good enough job to warrant a write up but the weird thing is the article quoted me. A lot. Incorrectly. The writer was the one who interviewed me & she quoted me talking about the things I spoke about but not my actual words. Am I right here in assuming that if there are quotation marks around a statement that is supposed to be a direct quote? Part of me knows this isn't a big deal. She didn't quote me as saying anything I disagree with per say but it's just not my voice. My voice is much more, how-do-you-say? young? with-it? irreverent? funny? specific? It's strange to have people compliment me on an article that does NOT represent me accurately at all. I try to wave it off - not out of modesty but more out of embarrassment. It's a bit like being complimened on your daring new style when really you've just ran out of clean laundry & had to make do with vaguely matching clothes.

This has also happened to me.

And finally, I'm a sick monkey. A whiny, sick monkey. And I'm... well, sick of it. So sick of it that I don't even want to write about it anymore.

maybe

2009-01-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

Q: Why do I get sick every 3 weeks or so?

A: Perhaps because this is my main food sources (note: untouched banana) & I work a lot....

I need a nap. I cannot get sicker, only better because there is a retreat this weekend. Must find some vitamin C... No, really must nap.

so much to blog,

2009-01-27T17:45:00.000-08:00

so little time. I have been a blogslacker in preparing to go on retreat this weekend. BUT I promise some great blogs in the near future including one more politico, and some major info re. FARMYLAND!

And, as always a random photo:

Random because I have no idea where this was taken or why his tongue is hanging out, or if my tongue is also hanging out for that matter.

Yosemite

2009-01-24T12:55:00.000-08:00

is stunning! Here are some pictures:

The mythic Half-Dome. I say mythic because the one other time I was in Yosemite it was so rainy & foggy I couldn't even see it. Clearly, not a problem this time. Now I want to climb it! Maybe this summer.

Lower Yosemite Falls. You can just keep climbing closer & closer so we did... and got wet. But the fall was so powerful. I kept thinking about the waterfall we swam under in Thailand which was much smaller but still instantly drove me down to the bottom of the river. This one would have been like being hit by a cartoon piano as you walk down the street.

Only, you know, wetter.

Rebs gets excited about snow.

Me? I've had enough snow in my life. But I like hot cocoa.

Even our shadows are in love.

tonight

2009-01-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

COOKED

DINNER!

for SEVEN people.

for reals.

This never happens.

But might have to happen more if I want to keep being Hostess Girl.

Can this be my superhero alter ego?

Seriously, folks.

this weekend

2009-01-21T22:39:00.000-08:00

Rebs & I went to Yosemite. It was beautiful, mind-bogglin' majestic, & oh, so very tall. Also, strange because at the tops of the mountains it was sunny & blooming green yet in the valley, snowy & cold. Isn't the snow supposed to be on the top of the mountain? That how I always used to draw mountains in school. I have so great pictures but am too lazy to track down my camera & cord - so you'll just have to wait.

But I'll give you a little taste with this: we saw a WOLF! Enjoy the google image until I'm willing to dole out details:

Ok, I'm ready.

I was driving, due to a serious bout of carsickness the nastiest conclusion of which was avoided when I got out of car, walked around, consumed water from my new, awesome water bottle*, ate copious amounts of original flavored Goldfish crackers (TM?), & thus fortified, took the wheel.

For those of you who don't know, once you get into the park you still have to drive for an hour to get down to the valley where you can park, rest(room), start a hike, etc. I was behind another car on a 2 lane, windy road & they hit the brakes for know apparent reason. Luckily, I do likewise saying, "Why are these people slowing down?" As Rebs starts to reply, "I don't know." I look out the passenger window & finish my sentence, "Maybe because of that WOLF!" It was about 10 feet away from the car just watching morning traffic pass by. We don't actually have a photo of our wolf because I had to keep going to prevent a serious, although low-speed pile up in one of our National Parks.

Amazing. It was one of those sights I have to keep checking in with Rebs about to make sure. "You saw wolf too? I'm not crazy?" He would say I'm not crazy because I saw a wolf but...

ha. ha.

I just can't help but wonder what happens when you are that close to a wolf when there's no car between you & it.

* Named Liquid Honey & deserving it's own post.

what's the...

2009-01-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

hand motion for thank you? I was driving home during rush hour & a lovely, beautiful, generous person let me merge in front of him/her. I did a lame little wave which I meant to imbue with great gratitude but I'm worried it reads like a holding a hand up to someone's face ie. "Whatever, playa!" (Yeah, I know I can't even pull that off in type.)

I know lots of non-thanking gestures - not that I use them very often. But what a universal thanking gesture?

And for fun: these deep thoughts on hand motions in the afterlife*. Enjoy.

*Possibly only funny to youth ministry types, but oh, so funny to those chosen few.

from my shiny, new facebook- about me:

2009-01-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

1. I am a neat freak, not a clean freak. I don't really consider germs a problem since I can't see them.

2. I consider it an act of aggression when people show up early to an activity I'm involved in. Clearly, I won't be ready.

3. I like presents! Picture Rebs saying, "She really likes presents." with an eye roll.

4. "I'm always the hostess! When I was a little girl the kids brought their dollys to my tea parties! I served the best air!" (If you know what this is from we should be best friends.)

5. I would rather be caught without pants than without mascara.

6. I use pet names for everyone, including myself - when I talk to myself, in my head they're said with a Southern accent. Right, Babycakes?

7. I read a lot. For fun. On purpose. A lot. Like several books a week. If you do not like to read don't tell me- I will equate it to you telling me you ran over your grandmother with a car.

8. I believe in fairytales. And miracles.

9. Want more deep thoughts & minutiae? I blog. Yeah, I'm vain like that.

10. I like making lists & cookies & out (with my husband).

seven months ago

2009-01-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

nearly to the minute, I married the love of my life. I still look at him & think/say, "We're married?!" It's awesome. Since I work with teens I often think back to my little, scared high school self & think, "Oh girl, things are gonna be so much more fun/better/flippin' great than you can even ever imagine right now." And being married to Rebby is one of the major I could never have imagined. Now that I've been trying to put together a wedding album I'm remembering more about the wedding day than I did initially here are my top 7 favorite memories of our wedding day:

1. Rebby's face when he first saw me (way before the actual ceremony since we did photos before).

2. Dancing, hopping, laughing, general mayhem as we greeted guests before the ceremony.

3. Seeing Andy well up during the vows & my dad's beautiful toast.

4. Grinning the whole day, realizing that all of the little details we had spent so many months planning did matter at all because this way the most fun day of my life.

5. Dancing with my grandpa after he & my grandma won the longest married dance marathon.

6. Seeing Cowboy looking serious & grownup in his tux as the ring bearer.

7. Being surrounded by everyone we love who were so happy for us & having so much fun.

Bonus: Getting a text first thing in the morning from Rebs that said, " Thinking of you beautiful- can't wait to be married to the love of my life.- I love you."

Ugh, having to shorten the list to 7 is impossible there are so many great moments that I couldn't include. Maybe I'll have to do this again next month.

2009-01-06T12:21:00.001-08:00

Hui

Should probably mention- I don't know these kids but I posted this because I feel like all kids do this kind of stuff. I know I did. (Kristen, radio show in closet, Disney parodies, enough said.)

i believe

2008-12-17T11:00:00.002-08:00

this is true! For me anyway.

And I'm watching Love Actually RIGHT NOW!

On a sidenote, heading to Michigan today & REALLY should be packing right now. So no more blogging until about 2009.

Happy Holidays! Traveling Mercies!

a few things that make me happy

2008-12-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

1. Eating unholy amounts of clementines for breakfast after running with Jenna in the morning.

2. Watching Scrooged with Rebby last nights while drinking hot chocolate whilst our Christmas tree & candles twinkled. Twinkles are magic you know.

3. CakeWrecks. Check out this blog. I dare you not to tear up with laughter.

4. The fact that part of my work day will include baking cookies for my teen ministers. I will do it in the parish office thus enticing all my co-workers to taste-test & therefore LOVE ME!

What's making you happy today?

wanna hang out?

2008-12-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

On Monday nights I'm usually all on my lonesome because Rebs is doing a year-long retreat & the meetings are from 6-9pm. I kinda like the lone time but sometimes I just want to hang out with Katie. I was drinking wine & making some more ornaments for our tree (pics to come) & I kept thinking how much more fun it would be if I could just call her to come on over. I want to get a little bit drunk & walk around or sit in the hot tub & talk about nothing. I want to hang out with Katie.

And while we're at it I want a few more super comfy, close girls friends that are more geographically convenient.

Please, Santa?

a sign that i am a married californian

2008-12-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

I am in bed, covered with the following:

1 sheet
1 synthetic poly-fur fleece blanket
1 goose-down filled comforter
1 large blanket I made for Rebs by stitching together 2 pieces of fleece together for our 1st Christmas together
1 quilt my aunt made me when I graduated from college & moved to CA
1 quilt from Target, the one our bedroom is decorated around - you've heard that theory right? "When decorating a bedroom start with the bedding."
1 comforter that has been with me through college, Camp Geneva, Camp Manitoqua, the Convent, the Ghetto, 2 other apartments, all significant break ups in my life, & is a good one for nephew naps
1 afghan that usually resides on our couch

I am NOT covered with:

1 (my) husband

AND I AM FREEZING!!!

also, it's getting a bit desperate

2008-12-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

around these parts. A no TP, dental floss, eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches fo' DAYZ kind of desperate.

I'll be babysitting my 18 month old Nnephew E-man tomorrow... Babies like running errands don't they? He'll probably even offer to vacuum....

I do hates to vacuum.

the word of the day is

2008-12-04T22:28:00.001-08:00

I could not focus on one dang thing for one dang minute, I do not know why. It's not so good because now I'll have to squeeze in a significant amount of work on my 2 supposed days off.

The word of the night is:

because I realized due to his working a school event on Fri-Sat I won't get to spend any quality time with Rebs until Sat. night when we have a work dinner to go to. Sunday is our 6 month anniversary & since I work on Sun we won't really get to celebrate. At least not in the pull out all stops, ignore the world, aren't we special we're in love kinda way I would like. It'll be much more of the what can we fit into our schedules-schedules? well, there goes the romance, kinda way.

So sad. I will miss him SO MUCH this weekend!

gratitude month

2008-12-02T17:00:00.000-08:00

I always mean to celebrate Gratitude Month in November & write a card of thanks to someone special everyday. How many did I write last year: 2 This year: 0

And that is just wrong when you think about how many wedding thank you's have yet to be sent.

SIGH. There's always next year.

Yes, when I feel insecure about not having anything exciting to write I do attach unrelated & flattering photos of myself. Thanks for asking.

Look at that hair! Why, oh why did I cut it???

do you like?

2008-12-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

the new blog look? I needed more color. I'm going to try to post pictures of our home & then you'll see the love for color even more. Just for fun I'll even attached a pic of the other header I created back in the day

So I didn't post at all on my days off & then I super-saturate you on my first day back... what's that all about???

???

the talk

2008-12-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

This is the talk I gave at the parish retreat a few weeks ago. I'm telling you now it will make a whole lot more sense if you click here & read the passage I was speaking on.

A few years ago a pastor told me when studying parables a good place to start is to try on every role in the story & whichever role is the most uncomfortable- that's the one we're supposed to focus on. Think about it: everyone wants to be the prodigal son who is welcomed back into the loving arms of a forgiving father but sometimes we have to admit we act more like a jealous older brother who doesn't like a sinner getting a second chance.

And so it was with this parable today: I want to be the fig tree who gets a second chance. Or even the gardener who sees something more in the tree than is readily apparent. But the role I am uncomfortable in is the man who wants to give up. There have been times in my life when I have done just that. Where I have decided that a person or situation had treated me to badly, or wronged me in someway. When I have wondered, "What is the use of keeping this person in my life?" But it's been those other times, the times I gave someone another chance or a situation more care, those have been the times that I have been most richly rewarded.

Many of teens have heard the story of how the first time I met Rebs I said to myself, "Oh, this is the guy I am going to marry." And after some initial crossed messages we began dating. What most people don't know is that after 3 years of being together, of being in the longest, most significant relationship life of my life, Rebs broke up with me. Our relationship had been rocky for a while but for me, I was in it for the long haul & figured we would work through anything. Rebs did not see it that way. The break up was devastating. I cannot describe to you how pain I was in at that point in my life. And my instinct was to completely cut off all contact with him immediately. I think the exact prayer was something like, "God, please erase every singly memory & any tiny reminder of Rebs from my whole life, forever. And please send more chocolate."

I was the man who wanted to uproot a barren tree, Doesn't that seem a bit drastic on the tree owner's part? How hard is it to visit a field & check on a tree once a year? But I think he wants to get rid of the tree because he doesn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed again.

I was the same way" I didn't want to be reminded of Rebs because I wanted to stop hurting & I didn't want to get my hopes up & be hurt even more.

But even in the initial, horrible post-break up period both Rebs & I heard a nagging voice: in prayer, in the voices of those around us, in our own hearts that said, "There's something more there. This is not the end of this story."

Enter the manure.

And the heavy digging.

Because, it turns out that just checking in once in a while is not enough. It turns out that just hoping for a good outcome doesn't ensure one will happen. For Rebs & I the work included a time of solitude spent praying & healing & growing on our own. The work was difficult & unpleasant & sometimes, just plain stinky because we had to dig in & think about how we had gotten to such a dead place in our relationship.

And then we had to do that same work together. We started small & we met once a week for coffee & walks & prayer & conversations about what we had learned about ourselves & each other & love & God's will in our lives.

And it took some time.

And it took some hard work.

But all of that, in the end, allowed the good fruit to grow. And in June Rebs & I were married. And since I'm still a newlywed I'm tempted to end this story with, "And we lived happily ever after!" But I won't. Instead I'll end with this:

I know that our relationship is stronger & the fruit is sweeter because we went through that break up & we listened to that voices saying, "Give it time, give it some work." And we were willing to do so.

Where is God telling you, "There's something more here. This is not the end of the story."? Are you willing to give it some time? Are you willing to pour some prayer on it? To dig in & face what you don't want to face? My prayer for all of us tonight is that we continue to have hope, to live out that hope. Because I have seen how, when we're willing to do God's work in our dirty little live, good things can grow.

monday nights

2008-12-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

Rebs is out late at a retreat every Monday. This time of year it is dark & cold & night & it is so hard to motivate to go outside. So I stay in & watch movies & sometimes drink wine & sometimes eat chocolate. Tonight was one of those nights.

a momentous occasion

2008-12-01T20:13:00.000-08:00

I didn't have a chance to post about this amazing event last week but (drum roll)

I finally became a full-fledged CALIFORNIAN!!!!

I ate & enjoyed sushi. I always said when that happened I would know I am a true Californian.

Yay me.

Just in time to be moving to Appalachia?

No, this is not an announcement, just a wondering.

disney pics

2008-12-01T19:03:00.001-08:00

click to see them enlarged

seriously

2008-12-01T18:58:00.000-08:00

wow.

Rebs won't even let me wear the same color as him.

He thinks the matching names & jobs are enough.

disneyland!

2008-12-01T13:27:00.000-08:00

Where have I been? Disneyland, of course!

Well, maybe not "of course". You're under no obligation to know that I was in Disneyland.

But I was & it was great & I recommend that you all get yo'self there as soon as possible. Especially during the holidays. it is so great & beautiful for the holidays. In fact, now I'm in such a Christmas-y mood that I was shocked to discover I had to get up & go to work today. I was convinced I was still in school & on Christmas break. Shocker.

But still, only 2 1/2 weeks until I go to MI so not too bad.

Here's a wonderful secret: The next time we go to Disneyland (this summer) we will be bringing my fantastic nephew Cowboy. It's going to be his Christmas present from us! He will be so excited & have so much fun!!! But shhh! Don't tell him! It's a surprise!

I'll attached some photos in the next post.

well... WORK!

2008-11-21T08:47:00.000-08:00

Where have I been?" you say? "If you want to be a blogger, you actually have to blog." you say?

Yeah. Yeah I know but I also need to live a bit so I have stuff to write about. And the truth is I've been diligently working the past few days so that I can take all of next week off from work!!! Trust me it's needed. By this Sunday, I'll have worked 15 days in a row without a a single day that didn't include some sort of work, work related task, or driving up to work. :(

Today & tomorrow will be spent at a work related conference. Which, I am taking my own sweet time actually getting to today because there been quite a few-work related late nights lately.

So, to sum up: WORK

And: expect good, fun post next week during my work-freeness.

Also, I want to post the talk I gave on Wed. but it will be hard because I can't just cut & past. :P

just discovered

2008-11-19T12:32:00.000-08:00

The secret to inspiration in my office: laying on the floor in front of the space heater with a (good)smelly candles & writing in colored makers.

Thank God:

I work in a building by myself.

I have enough written that the talk should be OK.

Just in case: keep your fingers crossed.

Thanks.

i'm nervous

2008-11-19T08:15:00.000-08:00

*image from sockmonkey.com

Nervous monkey. I have to give a talk to night at church. I think I built it up too much in my head. This is a short little talk. And I do this all the time and usually I love it. But it's also usually in front of teens or elderly or people who have no knowledge of the subject I'm talking about thus making my every word a slice of pizza to their late-night-college-student jonesin' ears. But I've even honest-to-goodness preached at masses before & loved it. This will be the same crowd. An open crowd. A good-willing crowd. A well-wishing crowd. An admiring crowd even.

So why am I so stressed? Perhaps because this talk is about my own little personal faith, which is always in flux. Yea, I'm fluxin'.

Or it's the loss of my shiny, bouncy power animal.

hair-ibles

2008-11-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

Nothing like following up a long, thoughtful post with a rant about the hairs but this is what you get.

So, immediately after the Thailand honeymoon (I'm not bragging I just like the feel of that phrase in my mouth) I chopped off a large portion of my hairs. Documented here.

I hate it. I did it after growing the hair to wedding portions & sweating through the Thailand jungle (yum!) & at the time it felt so heavy & hot. It enjoyed my hair freedom for about a week & then started to regret it. This has been compounded by:

The teens in the ministry telling me I lost my "street cred" because now they don't mistake me for one of them anymore.
my fellow youth minsiters who are all guys saying, "Why'd you cut your hair? It looks bad. We miss your old hair." Bitches! Men should tell all women they are beautiful all the time everytime, no matter what. I never tell them their unshaven faces are scraggle monkey ugly.
Since the haircut I haven't been carded once. Not once. A serious sudden drop in carding. I was even called ma'am for the first time in my life.
I had all my bridesmaids over for dinner & they told me I looked like a housewife. Shouldn't I at least get to live in a house before I start to look like one.
I just don't know how to style it! I straighten it & look like Nancy Pelosi or leave it curly & look like Roxie Heart in the movie version of Chicago before Richard Gere made her get a trim for trial. That's right, like a trashy, murderin' flapper & I didn't even get the dance skills to pay the rent.

In short, my long hair was my fountain of youth*, my power animal*, my one beauty*, my snowy day* my pillar of fire*, my little black dress*, AND was so much easier to deal with when I could always fall back on the bouncy ponytail.

Now, I got nothing.

Although Rebs says he likes it better this way. Yep, still got that guy wrapped around my little finger.

Also, this bad hair is dredging up bad, bad memories of sixth through eleventh grade when I had a frizzy uncontrollable mass of hair that would fill up the entire frame of my school pictures. I waited for years to gain the skills that would allow me to wear my hair down, without hair ties, bobbly pins, clips, barrettes, nothing. Down. This was a goal of my life for years & once I accomplished it I should have signed a contract with myself to NEVER do anything that would jeopardize my hair freedom.

WAAAIIIILLLL! Gnashing of teeth! rending of cloak! (But not pulling of hair because, obviously, I'm trying to grow it out.)

*If you know all these references you are my soulmate & perhaps we should ditch Rebs & run off to Bali together.

Paco, this is why...

2008-11-17T10:45:00.000-08:00

The night, the glorious night that Barack Obama was elected as the 44th president of the United States of America I went to bed happy & hopeful & relieved & worn out from crying, screaming, & singing with joy.

Then I had a dream. I dream I met my dad & he was sad about the result of the election & I had to explain to him why I thought Obama was a great choice.

I don't know what my dream reasons were but here are some of my current reasons. This is not a exhaustive list.

1. He is articulate. This is extremely important to me. I cannot believe in the intelligence of a leader who speaks in English in a way that requires interpretation. Even if they are doing it to appeal to the "ordinary folk" I don't want a leader who is ordinary folk. I think leaders should be held to a higher standard in everything including speech. I think if you are going into politics & didn't pay enough attention in even high school English & speech classes than maybe you should brush up before the campaign.

2. He is willing to sit down with leaders of foreign countries. I want our country to consider diplomacy as the first rational step to conflict rather than a sign of weakness. I want us to exhaust every other option before we commit ourselves & resources to the killing of soldiers & innocents.

3. I truly believe Obama's positions are more inline with Catholic Social Teaching. That the ideas of respect for life, rights & responsibility to community, the dignity of work, care for God's creation, & preferential options for the poor were all evident in his policies. I'm OK with leaning a bit towards socialism, I think there was good in socialism. However, I don't really think what he is proposing is socialism (anymore than the recent bailouts) that was just a convenient word use to scare people away.

4. I'm hoping a for redefinition of a few traditional conceits. The first one is the definition of masculinity. (Are you thinking, "Whoa, that's a bit out there." Well, it's not. I majored in Feminist Literature & worked/volunteer as Socialization & Gender Roles teacher). What I mean is that we have a very narrow definition of what it means to "BE A MAN" in our society now day ( I do think this is bit of the backlash from the latest feminist movement. But, seriously, focus on Obama, one issue at a time.) I'm hoping that having a man like Obama in such a position of leadership will help expand the definition of masculinity to include care-taking, listening, faithful, intentional, open, & thoughtful.

6. I'm also hoping for a new dialogue to be opened about forgiveness in regards to peace & justice. I have always, always since September 11, 2001 been against the idea of war as a solution to the problem, We did not have a clear objective in going to this war, a good, long term plan, or enough evidence that it was the right thing to do. According the Catholic standards of just war, this just isn't it. I would like us, as a nation to explore the ideas of forgiveness as a necessary part of the healing process. Not just in regards to 911 but also all situations of pain & violence.

(Ahhh! I'm just not as articulate as I would like to be on this topic. But we just showed a great film at ministry last night that is articulate & beautiful & so thought-provoking & challenging. Check it out: The Power of Forgiveness.)

6. Joe Biden. Yes, he's been in Washington forever & you can contend that he was picked to counter the little-experience argument. AND he's a bit of a wild card on a microphone but I appreciate the fact that Obama picked someone who does not believe exactly everything that Obama does. Having to talk out your position with someone who does not agree with you can be very healthy. (Talking out your position with someone who is more intelligent than you & is using you as a puppet in their evil plans to take over the world is not. Sorry, I'm still getting over my trauma at the hands of the current administration).

7. "I will listen to you, especially when we disagree." I love this. I aspire to this. This is so much more helpful to hear rather than a leader who says, "I'm the decider." & forges ahead without stopping to consider if he knows where we're going or if anyone is following. I know this is not humanly possible for Obama to literally listen to all of us but the fact that he knows listening is important warms me to the heart.

8. "The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America- I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you- we as a people will get there. There will be setbacks & false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, & we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face." I feel hopeful by how reality-based this speech is. He doesn't try to sugar-coat the situation we are in now nor does he promise the all of problems will be magically fixed. I want a leader who is aware of the world outside of his own inner circle.

9. Yes, he's new, he's relatively untested, he hasn't been in politics long. I'm not hearing the down-side here. The old guard hasn't done us any favors lately. I think if things are not going well we need to change, we need the new. Also, I know when I'm new to a job I work harder to impress everyone. I'm on my toes & more open to learning because I recognize that I don't know everything yet.

10. "So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service & responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in & work harder & look after not only ourselves, but each other... In this country we rise & fall as one nation, as one people." I appreciate that fact that he reminds us all that we have a part to play. That some self-sacrifice is needed. When our nation is at war or in economic crisis or our planet is in danger we need a leader who calls on each of us to do our part, to give up a little, & to take responsibility. We should all be challenged to sacrifice at a time like this & to care for one another.

9. Finally, I hope that the election of Obama signals that we, as a nation, recognize that the path we have been on for the past 8 years is terribly, terribly wrong. That we are all called to be better & do better. I hope this election signals that we are craving change. I feel hopeful by how many more people were inspired to participate in the process this year. I am thankful that more people staying informed about politics now or whatever reason.

For me, it's because I no longer feel so helpless every time I listen to the news.

Thanks for the hope. I needed that.

Paco & I probably won't ever talk about this because he is a one issue voter (pro-life) & we can't find common ground (thanks to his daily doses of Focus on the Family) & personally, the few times a year when I see him I'd much rather revel in his company than preach.

So, thanks for listening.

*all quotes taken from Barak Obama's acceptance speech 11/4/08

just got kicked out

2008-11-12T21:25:00.000-08:00

of the bed where Rebs is trying to be all spiritual & procrastinate-y finishing his stuff for his reconciliation service tomorrow BECAUSE

I just spent the last 3 minutes frantically typing in the name of EVERYONE I could think of into the Palin BabyNamer & laughing hysterically at each & everyone of the results.

He's is still whispering, "I need you to please go."

and so I must.

rebs would be...

2008-11-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

Just did Rebs (hopefully obvious- not his real name) on the Palin link & he would be....

Revolver Trooper Palin

Why are ours both ways to kill people?

FREAKY!!!!

this is not a test...

2008-11-12T14:07:00.000-08:00

This is 2 things from my day that make me smile.

1. Ironic smile:

Yesterday I got a new phone in my office after 3.5 years of horrible static interruption that required me to turn off the radio, fan, space heater, paper shredder & close the window so I would have even the tiniest chance of hearing who was on the other line.

Today my new, glorious, & fully charged phone rings I prepare myself for the first momentous hopefully clear as a bell call, take a breath, answer it & hear....

a telemarketer recording.

But dang, could I hear.

2. Slightly superior, infinitely amused smile:

If you click on this link you can find out what your name would be if Sarah Palin was your mama (the horror!).

I would be Stepper Choke Palin.

I probably wouldn't get into Griffyndor with that name. Or youth ministry for that matter.

Now, you try. Then, come back & tell me what your name would be.

beauty

2008-11-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

Once, in awhile, one of the teens in the ministry bowls me over with their insight & wisdom.

Once, one of them said, "You know you've found beauty when you can see it in something ugly."

To me this is TRUTH & it is profound. I don't know if everyone would consider it so but it twang a chord with me because it articulated something that I have experienced & believed since working at the crisis center as a JV.

I feel like I see beauty the most in suffering. I think hope is the most beautiful thing. I think that people are more able to experience & express love in situations of suffering. I think when horrible things happen we realize how fragile we all are & we our connections with each other more deeply.*

I think that's when we are most able to bring God's kingdom to earth.

Which, to me, means love.

I learned, when walking into crisis situations when I felt like I had nothing to offer someone who had just suffered a horrible assault, all I really had to do was to be present, to enter into the suffering with the other person & allow them to just BE, however they needed to be. That was where healing happened.

Later, perhaps, they would want answers to questions, or a sounding board, or a hand to squeeze. But what was most important was to offer an open heart.

And when you are able to open your heart to other's suffering what you are left with is an open heart. A heart that is more open to experience the world, all of it: the joy, beauty, pain, challenges, everything.

Since my time at the crisis center my open heart has not shut & now I am much more open. Much more likely to cry at, well, ANYTHING, actually. I'm more likely to see the beauty in the ugly & suffering.

Sometimes it gets a bit soggy but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And that is why I love FREEEEE-DAHHHHH (Frida Kahlo, for those who haven't been paying attention.) Because she painted all the pain & suffering in her life & it is beautiful. And she lived this bright, amazing life. So if you get a chance go see the exhibit. I'll be going again.

* Of course, this does not make me glad that there is

suffering in the world. I hate it & would eliminate all

suffering if I could.

calm down, buddy

2008-11-11T10:18:00.000-08:00

I am working/writing in a coffeehouse this morning to postpone the loneliness of my office for another hour or two (it's especially hard to face after such a long Sunday). The guy sitting at the table next to me is bouncing his knee up & down like it's what's powering his laptop. It's stressing me out.

Also, the way he keeps straining to look at the clock makes me think he's cramming to get a paper done before class.

Or he's just had too much caffeine.

Or he's trying to stay warm since it's in the 50's & he's wearing shorts.

Regardless, that fact that I can see it is making me feel jumpy, which is the exact opposite of the feeling I'm going for when I finally sit down to journal & pray.

Would this be considered a boundary issue? How can I disconnect so that this tiny peripheral annoyance doesn't salt my game?

forgive me, i'm new

2008-11-10T22:51:00.000-08:00

Today for the second time I dog-sat for our neighbors JJ. They have an elderly toothless chihuahua. This is not a picture of him but it is basically what he looks like. He's rather high maintenance in my opinion but since I've never owned a dog - how can I rightly judge that? Overall, I think he's a pretty cute in a helpless, affection whore, growl your face off with absolutely nothing to back it up, your daddies spoil you, stop licking me sort of way.

Rebs & I took him for a walk & he kept complaining that there was slack in the leash. I was about to ask, "Why does that matter???" when Nemo's legs got all caught up in to leash.

Oh.

I really hate when other people tell me what to do & when they are right.

When we get a dog it will be much bigger so when I walk it at night I will feel a bit protected. Now so much with the chihuahua.

boo

2008-11-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

I'm in a bad mood. I watched Pretty Woman alone tonight. Watching romantic comedies alone almost always puts me in a bad mood. I want my life to be a romantic comedy. Sorry if this sounds ungrateful but that's where I'm wallowing right now.

PS: It was an anniversary edition of the movie & there were extra scenes that we are all glad they cut out. In the long version Vivane & Edward even ride horses together on their date. Totally wrecks the realism of the movie.... :P

tired monkey

2008-11-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

I am one. I was at my office today for 10 hours. Please note I did not say I was working for 10 hours because that is not the truth but I was there which meant:

I was not easy like Sunday morning.

I was not making banana pancakes with the husband.

I was not lying on a beach feeling the warm rays soak into my skin while the sound of the waves reminded me, "Peace. Peace." which is what waves always tell me.

I was not lying on the sunny spots of the carpet in my parents sunroom reading the Sunday comics.

I was not organizing my closet.

I was not getting the second & much-longed for facial of my life.

I was not hiking around tiny waterfalls or autumn flavored trees.

I was not reading poetry by Mary Oliver, Hafiz, or e.e. cummings.

I was not doing laundry.

I was not hanging out with my grandparents or my beautiful & crazy nephew, Cowboy.

I was not sitting in the hot tub.

I was not creating, shopping for, & making a healthy meal.

I was not sitting in a coffee shop & journaling.

I didn't even sit on the porch of my office & enjoy the great view there.

My point is two-fold:

1. I'm tired & about to eat chips & salsa for dinner.

2. I shouldn't complain because chances are on my next day off I won't do most of these things either. I need to seize those days!!!

i have not forgotten

2008-11-05T22:48:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to blog about the election but things are so busy right now. Give me a day. For now a funny pic.

2008-11-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

today

2008-11-04T08:16:00.001-08:00

I am BraveHeart & my battlecry is "FREEEE-DAHHHH!" I can't wait until Saturday.

Poor Rebs.

Now, I'm off to vote. Now, you go!

Word.

but on the bright side

2008-11-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

SYNCHRONICITY!!!

Frida Kahlo's work is on display at the San Jose Museum of Art!!! Oh, wait as I was getting the link I realized that they don't actually have much of her work rather it is photographs of her. But that works too because I just watched the movie & read one of her biographies (including footnotes, I'm a dork.) & in general have been obsessed with Frida lately. YAY!!! I CANNOT WAIT to go check this out!

I do this. I get a bit crazy when I see a movie or read a book I like & them I want to find out EVERYTHING I can about that person (it's usually a person). Past bio-plunges have included: Truman Capote, Queen Elizabeth, Anne Boleyn, Evita, the Phantom of the Opera, Dr. Drew, Van Gough... & that's all that I can list off the top of my head.

somethings that got me down today

2008-11-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

are the following:

I went to return something at a store & a teenage girl was excitedly talking to a friend on her phone about finding colored jeans with zippers at the ankle.
This reminded me of running in above mentioned jeans in elementary school gym while our teacher played one of these 3 songs: La Bamba, Achy Breaky Heart, & the one by the Beach Boys that says, "Hey baby why don't we go..." & then lists a bunch of islands. Seriously, that was it. It must have been a very short mixed tape made by her one true love & she played it all the time. No wonder I hate running.
At the same store another girl was wearing IN PUBLIC the same pajamas I just bought only with rocket ships on them. IN PUBLIC & with imitation Uggs! Do I even need to reassure you that I have officially graduated from said store & will not be shopping there again?
I saw a woman buy 2 tallboys for herself & a hot cocoa for her 5? 6? 7? year-old daughter at a 7-11 & then proceed to light up a cigarette & begin screaming into a cell phone before getting in to a car with her daughter.

Perhaps I'm being too judgmental or perhaps I'm running with the wrong crowd but these things made me think, "What is the world coming too?"

Hoping, hoping that it will be coming to something AWESOME with tomorrow's election. Which leads me to the last & final thing that got me down.

5. I realized that instead of obsessively watching the election results come in tomorrow (preferably surrounded by friends, likeminded & otherwise at a local watering hole since we do not have a television with a connection to, well, TV) I'm supposed to be in a class that is only loosely related to what I am doing with my life, that I am attending under duress anyway, & for which there is no credit at the end.

MORAL DILEMMA! I really, really want to skip. I'l probably refer this decision to Rebs, my own personal, Jimminy Cricket.

But my vote will be my own.

throwback

2008-11-03T11:22:00.000-08:00

to schooldays. My BBF & I would write our notes to each other in a thin Crayola marker in a color that represented the boy we currently had a crush on, because, let's face it that was mostly what the notes were about.

Today I wrote my to-do list in this color which was the color for a boy I had a crush on in 11th grade. We meet at a coffeehouse we spent every Friday night at. We never actually dated. Unrequited, you know.

I could go for some coffee now. My office is COLD!

ok, the truth is

2008-11-02T22:02:00.000-08:00

i've wanted to blog for a while but the true catalyst for this is that Rebs & I have a major desicion to make.

HUGE.

ENORMOUS.

But I still don't know if I'm ready to hash it all out yet. Even though it is ALWAYS ON MY MIND. So for now can I just say we're considering joining another volunteer program.

A volunteer program that would require us to leave behind nearly all of our possessions, travel across the country, live in a very simple & communal way on a farm, & work harder than we ever have in our entire lives ever for an undetermined amount of time.

Seriously.

I am not making this up nor am I exaggerating.

But like I said I'm just not ready to hash this all out yet. So for now let me say we are discerning Farmyland. (Farmyland because I don't want to get too specific yet.) And in discerning Farmyland we could use your prayers. Lots of them.

More hashing to come. Lots more.

saturday night fun

2008-11-02T21:49:00.000-08:00

We found a Magic Love Reminder. What is a Magic Love Reminder you ask? I'll tell you, they are scattered all over our abode by the lovely & thoughtful Arbusto who was kind enough to housesit for us whilst we traipsed through Thailand. A Magic Love Reminder is a fun & loving activity to be completed by Rebs & I & then documented ( I won't say scrap-booked because I don't wanna scrap book).

Anyway, this MLR had us play a game of Jenga & tell each other one reason we are glad we are married for each block we pulled. Some highlights:

We are glad we got married because...

We will always & forever be known as the ------. (In the interest of staying anon I'm not going to finish this sentence.
We are figuring out what our life will be like/include together.
We are becoming better people by having to admit we're wrong sometimes & apologizing & being humble.
We are learning new things from each other like cooking & hanging pictures & crating teambuilding boxes.*
We get to sleep together. :)
We get to plan & take many, many more vacation together.
We learning more about love & how to love & how God must love us.
We feel pride in saying, "That's my wife/husband."
We get to wake up together.
We get to come home to each other.

There were more but that's all I can think of right now.

We also added wine & eating the pumpkin seeds I had roasted after carving my pumpkins 1 day late to the mix. Wine + Jenga = a tricky business. Of course, since I have a lower tolerance (ie. 1/2 a glass) I knocked over the tower. It was bound to happen if wasn't the wine it would have been the cockiness...

*More on that later.

since you asked

2008-11-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, not really but I know you were thinking it. Rebs dressed up as a mug shot with a Mugs Root Beer hat & a t-shirt with a bullet hole in it.

Total time spent making costume: 10 minutes, tops.

Number of times costume needed explaining: Many.

I went as a Geek Goddess. A traditional toga-type costume with dorky acessories, including pocket protector. Total time spent making costume: 1 hour- 1 hour 1/2.

Number of times costume needed explaining: Many.

Why bother?

last night

2008-11-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

was Halloween. Having gone to our costume party last Saturday, Rebs & I celebrated by staying home & handing out candy to all of the 6 kids that came to our door. Because we live on the second floor of the apartment building I'm guessing kids couldn't see our sign that said, "Trick or Treaters welcome." Now I'm thinking of all the things we could have done to make it a bit more welcoming but it's a bit too late.

We also watched The Blob: very funny & surprisingly gory. I would have thought the blob would have just covered it's victims & that would be it but NO. The blob is acidic & people dissolve while being blobbed. So, so gross. But the bad acting, bad hair, & lose plot kept me in the game.

I made chocolate chip muffins but all the chips sunk to the bottom. I've never eaten a chocolate chip muffin like that so what's the secret to keeping the chips afloat? I must know...

it's raining!

2008-11-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

Here in California! Yay! It is beautiful! Perfect sleeping in weather which is what Rebs is doing right now. Although it does put a bit of a damper on our plans to ride our bikes to the farmer's market. Oh well, plenty of other fun things to do on a rainy day!

Like blog.

i'm a bit of an addict

2008-11-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

to comics strips. This is one of my favorite ones. I'd put an example in here but I'm a bit worried about copyright laws. Wait, it's not like I'm saying I wrote it right? Good point. Here it is:

best junkmail ever

2008-10-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I lost my favorite pen. Although it was a freebie from a funeral home & I'm not sure how I ever got it since I've never been to that funeral home it was a pretty blue & fit into my paw perfectly.

Today a fundraising company sent me a freebie of their product. A pen that is an even prettier blue WITH MY NAME lasered onto it. Maybe I won't lose this sucker.

YAY!

It's the little things, people.

Also, the ministry will not be selling or purchasing any pens anytime soon so my keeping the freebie is not a bribe.

i want

2008-10-29T22:41:00.001-07:00

this man to be president so badly I can hardly breathe.

And I want all his rhetoric to come true.

Is that too much to ask?

Let's break now for a song lyric that applies to my life:

Be careful with me. I'm sensitive & I want to stay that way.

I missed the infomercial, workin' you know, but what did you think?

smelleriffic

2008-10-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

tonight, at a ministry meeting something:

the room, the carpet, the teenagers????

SMELLED LIKE FEET.

now, as I type my hands:

SMELL LIKE ONIONS

because Rebs & I just prepped dinner for his parents who are coming over tomorrow night. There will be more cleaning.

And less smells.

We made this but added chicken. It is a good one. Try it.

sometimes at youth ministry

2008-10-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

I reign as the Queen of the Chaos.*

Sometimes I am the ChaosMaker.

*When I was a young, rapacious reader I thought the word chaos was pronounced, "CHA- Ohs". When I finally asked my mom what that word meant there was firstly: confusion, secondly: laughter, & then, finally, a explanation. Also, we were on a camping trip when this happened, sitting at the kitchen table of our pop-up.

That's all.

bloggie pride

2008-10-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

I am impressed with this whole thing. I am impressed I was able to format this enough for a beauty-lovin' Libra to feel satisfied for now.

I consider myself quite a dumbo when it comes to any-beyond-the-basic computer skills but I have tenacity & have come up with some gypsy MacGyver solutions to do what I've wanted to do.

Yay me.

After all, I climbed a mountain in Thailand. With the help of this stick.

I really loved that stick.