husbands

tonight my husband took me to see Julie & Julia. This was after baking me chocolate chip cookies, mind you. He's amazing.

The movie has a lot to say about husbands. Both characters have great ones. There were some great moments that made me well up. When they did I would squeeze Rebs hand 3 times which is our code for, I love you. I'd turn to him & he'd look at me with his big brown eyes & smile.

And I'd think, he's just as loving & wonderful as these guys but ... he's also hot.

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

3 weeks

In 3 weeks we will be driving across the country to our new life in West Virginia. It's so hard to prepare for it because I can't really imagine what it's going to be like. Right now all I can really do it appreciate the face off of California. Which I am doing. But this also makes me... not question going but melancholy about going. Now, when we go someplace I think, "This could be the last time we do this." This is so hard for me because I don't like saying good bye.

I was about to write, "I'm not good at good byes." but then I realized I don't even know what being good at them would mean.

I know, I know this is like going away to college. How you can't really ever be fully ready & leaving is hard & once you get there there's so much new to distract you that you're not sad any more. But the point is I'm sad now because I'm in the sad part.

I'm sad to be taking apart our first home that we made beautiful, & made memories in. Where we started our tradition of telling each other one reason we love each other every night. Where there were balloons everywhere, courtesy of our friends the day we got back from our honeymoon. Where we have a photo collage that I can't look at without remembering the big fight we had about what picture to hang where. Where we handed out 3 pieces of candy on Halloween & carved pumpkins the next day. Where we had our first Christmas tree complete with homemade decorations. Where our nephews have slept in improvised beds. Where I learned to bake bread & cakes that Rebs is much better at decorating than I am. Where we've hosted many, many parties. We've only been here a year but it was a momentous one.

I'm sad to be leaving all the amazing places both metropolitan & natural that northern California has to offer. Oh, the beach. What will I do without a beach? What will I do without taquerias?

I'm sad to be giving up a certain measure of autonomy in my life that comes from living with just one beloved other & having so many resources (including money). I know I willingly chose this life of community & simplicity. But still...

I'm also sad or maybe, more accurately, scared to give up all the trendy clothes, accessories, & make up that I use to move about in the world. These things, as much as I hate to admit it, give me a certain confidence that I will miss.

But mostly, I just so sad to be moving away from all the wonderful friends we have here in California. We are so friend-rich here, we are so blessed. I'm just so saddened & frightened by the thought that these relationships will change with our move. It is inevitable. And of course, we are not ending these friendships but the truth is some of them will end. And all of them will change.

All summer we have been working the hang-out-with-us while you-still-can angle. And have had such great fun. I have laughed so much. I have been so encouraged. I have learned & challenged to grow. I have been so filled with gratitude. And it was all so effortless.

I do not take effortlessness for granted. I know it will have to be nurtured with the new people we will meet.

But no matter how sad I am I am still certain that this is the right path for us.

And so, we have begun to pack. And purge. And remember.

And I need your prayers. Because it is sad.

religulous

last week my love & I were on vacation in a tiny town that dates back to the Gold Rush. We spent a lot of time at the beach & had a great time conquering the water tramp & blob-ish thing.

We also watched the documentary Religulous. Now, you know I love me a good documentary. I don't even really care what the subject is, I just want to learn more. And more. And more. If you feel the same way to can I NOT recommend Religulous? It is basically Bill Maher talking to people of different faiths trying to figure out why they believe what they believe. Or, at least that's what I thought it was supposed to be except it wasn't. He didn't let people talk! Instead he'd make an exaggerated generalization of their beliefs & before they could finish explaining why they believe that he'd step in with another sarcastic comment. I wish he would have been more open to dialogue but I think he was too invested in pointing out the absurdities & dichotomies in religion. So disappointing. Especially the segment with the Catholic priest. The Catholic priest was trying to explain that yes, there is a problem with a religion that preaches to feed the poor & yet builds buildings out of gold.

Because we Catholics (OK maybe not all of us) know that our faith is absurd & sometimes we say things & do the opposite. But we don't think we're perfect. We're human. We're muddlin' through. We don't get it all right but we're trying.

Bill Maher kept asking everyone, "What if you're wrong? What if it's not true?" Usually he didn't give people a chance to respond but when they did they'd say stuff like, "Better be safe than sorry."

To the "What if you're wrong?" question I say,

Who cares?

I am probably wrong. Who am I to have the market on truth? What are the chance that any one faith, church, person has it completely right?

But even if I am wrong my faith gives my life a hope & a purpose. And sometimes, a semblance of peace. And I am often moved to tears by the beauty of this broken world because of my faith

Who cares if I am wrong?

Without my faith I would have no motivation. If I didn't believe it's important to help people I wouldn't know what I am supposed to be doing with my life.

Because at the end of the day, I just want my life to have mattered.

dear mom

Rebs thinks this is the funniest picture ever. I think you know why.

Please don't take away his title as your favorite Son in Law.

the tale of the ring

pre-party: Rushing out of the house late as usual. Slide a ring onto the wrong finger & think, "Oh crap! That's going to be hard to get off."

at party:

Planning to take ring off as soon as guests leave no matter what.

after party:

Dip hand in ice water, use soap & lotion all to no avail. Husband & wise friend say, "Just go to bed, it'll slip off in the morning."

morning after:

Yes, that is a saw in my lovely husband's hand. No, it didn't work.

Lovely husband & wise friend go out to buy this tool:

Notice the look of intense concentration (which I intensely appreciated).

At last! FREEDOM!

The aftermath.

To the chagrin of lovely husband & wise friend I placed the remaining 2 bands right back on the same finger. What? It fit perfectly after the operation.

To the joy of lovely husband & wise friend it turned my finger green & I threw the damn thing away.

The End.

holy crap

I am moving to West Virginia in ONE MONTH!!!

We should really start packing & paring down the possessions.

Or we could just spend every remaining minute with friend & general enjoyment of our Californian life

like we have been

ALL SUMMER!!!!!!!

Rebs & I are probably the only 2 unemployed people in the country who are loving life so much right now.

in my fridge

in my fridge there is an egg that looks like this:

Why?

Because that is the way my husband lets me know it's been boiled....

& is now, wait for it....

HARD.

dear blog

I miss you. I am coming back soon.

I promise.

love,

me

things I would rather

have found in my office last night:

a raccoon

a small child with a dirty diaper

a sizable snake

a frog

an IRS agent

a mouse

a feral cat

a shark

or even the corpse of this thing:

What I did find was the actual living version of it. And I just walked away.

Because I don't handle any spiders well.

Because this one was the size of my hand.

Because I wanted to appear to be a cool collected youth minister in front of the other person in my office who left as soon as she saw the sucker.

Because I'm a chicken.

Walking away did solve the problem for yesterday but definitely didn't help today!

The only way this could be worse is if it was a Zombie Spider, that's a spider who has been killed & then comes back to a live a sad, scurrying, shadow of its past life scaring the bejebus out of me.

AHHHH! Is it on me? I feel it on me!

I also compounded the problem greatly by looking spider images & therefore seeing horrible images of spider bites.

HELP!

I should have whacked the sucker when I had the chance. Now I have no idea where it is!

furthermore

I was driving to a meeting on Sunday morning & Vienna Teng's song "City Hall" came on the radio about the day she & her girlfriend drove up from LA to get married in SF. It is beautiful & it made me cry. Listen to it. Pray about it.

I love being married & everything about it! I can't imagine a world in which Andy & I wouldn't be allowed to get married. I want all of my friends to have that choice!

lyrics:

me and my baby on a february holiday 

'cause we got the news 

yeah, we got the news 

500 miles and we're gonna make it all the way 

we've got nothing to lose 

we've got nothing to lose 

it's been 10 years waiting 

but it's better late than the never 

we've been told before 

we can't wait one minute more 

oh, me and my baby driving down 

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall 

oh, me and my baby stand in line 

you've never seen a sight so fine 

as the love that's gonna shine 

at city hall 

me and my baby've been through 

a lot of good and bad 

learned to kiss the sky 

made our momma's cry 

I've seen a lot of friends 

after giving it all they had 

lay down and die 

lay down and die 

10 years into it 

here's our window 

at the vegas drive-thru chapel 

it ain't too much 

for 'em all to handle 

oh, me and my baby driving down 

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall 

oh, me and my baby stand in line 

you've never seen a sight so fine 

as the love that's gonna shine 

at city hall 

outside, they're handing out 

donuts and pizza pies 

for the folks in pairs in the folding chairs 

my baby's lookin' so damned pretty 

with those anxious eyes 

rain-speckled hair 

and my ring to wear 

10 years waiting for this moment of fate 

when we say the words and sign our names 

if they take it away again someday 

this beautiful thing won't change 

oh, me and my baby driving down 

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall 

oh, me and my baby stand in line 

you've never seen a sight so fine 

as the love that's gonna shine 

oh, me and my baby driving down 

to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall 

oh, me and my baby stand in line 

you've never seen a sight so fine 

as the love that's gonna shine 

at city hall 

marriage

Yesterday CA courts upheld the ban on same-sex marriage. Sucky.  

Yes, I am an active, practicing Catholic. Yes, I'm even a minister in the Catholic church. I also wholeheartedly support gay marriage. I fail to see how allowing other people to experience the beauty & challenge that is marriage some how takes away from it.  I think anytime people want to make a public commitment to loving each other we should support it.

I heard someone suggest that if the whole debate is about the use of the word marriage we could just take the word out of legal usage. That way under the law all couples, gay or straight, can be enter into unions but marriage would just be used for everyday language, religious ceremonies, etc.  I don't know if this would satisfy everyone but I would gladly give up the legal word marriage if that meant we could all be equal. If gay couples can't be "married" under the law perhaps we straights shouldn't get to use the word anymore either.

Of course then there's the trouble that the Catholic Church isn't going to marry gay couples any time soon. I think we're going to find ourself on the wrong side of this issue.

last bite

I just heard someone say that while they were growing up in Catholic school the nuns always said the first thing that happens to you when you get to heaven is you have to sit down at a huge table & eat every bite of food that you ever wasted in life.

:) 

This strikes me as so funny. You're not allowed into heaven until you've completely sickened yourself on old food? How does that fit into the big picture?

If it is true I'll be eating a mountain of old, crusty, last bites of sandwich. I never eat the last bite. I have no good reason. Maybe if I knew they'd all be waiting for me in heaven I start eating them.

What would be waiting for you?

i just don't get

the following:

• Donald Trump's being respected.
  
• Any task involving a check book, taxes, or the DMV.
  
• How to plan travel.
  
• How to feed myself well, affordably, sustainably, & without having things go bad in the fridge before we eat them.
  
• Why the Guantanamo prisoners are considered so much more dangerous than other criminals & why having them on our soil increases our danger.
• The popularity of American Idol.
• How the geese outside of our apartment can be so dang loud & honky.
• How to prevent the chocolate chips in my homemade muffins from sinking to the bottom.
• Poverty & why we are OK with it.

I'm sure the list will continue but now, to bed.

new location for 2009 G8 summit

Bet you weren't expecting that...*

So basically, Berlusconi is moving the G8 Summit from this crazy luxurious location on cruise ships in the Mediterranean to barrack formerly used to house married couples during training for a police force near L'Aquila which was damaged by an earthquake this spring.

Not all of these details are in the article below but I heard it on All Things Considered on NPR. Anyway, the point is we're talking much simpler accommodations than these guys (& gals) are used to. Like, bunkers & cafeterias. I think it awesome.

A friend of mine, who is a little bit genius & a little dreamer, used to fantasize about running a Third World simulation camp where anyone who wanted to run for public office would have to live for 2 weeks in  abject poverty.  For perspective, you know.  I love it.

So, this might be as close as we get but it's still pretty great.  Now the only question is, will Berlusconi himself, actually stay in the same place?

Politics: G8 summit to move to L'Aquila. Thursday, April 23rd 2009

The Italian government has voted to change the location of the upcoming G8 summit in July from La Maddalena island in Sardinia to L'Aquila, which was heavily damaged by the 6 April earthquake. Prime minister Silvio Berlusconi has said that holding the G8 in L'Aquila would keep the world from forgetting about the earthquake-ravaged area and provide world leaders with an opportunity to see examples of the architectural and artistic heritage their contributions will help to restore.

Berlusconi also said that hosting the G8 summit in luxurious La Maddalena would send the wrong message given the present economic climate, and that the government would be saving around €220 million by moving the conference to L'Aquila.

*especially after all the girlyness that preceded. But it's my blog & I'll blog how I want to.

back when i was single

i used to do crazy things to attract boys that i liked. It was ridiculous. Not really the things I did, mostly the things I thought about doing & the sheer amount of time I spent thinking about doing said crazy things.

For example, I'm pretty sure that if Facebook had been around back when I was single I would have obsessively checked my guy's profile ALL THE TIME. Admittedly, that might be a little crazy but I'm sure a lot of girls do that. But I'm pretty sure I would have taken the crazy up a notch by posting a status update immediately after him every time so he would see our names together & think, "We should BE together!"

Now that I am married I...
a. realize that no boy in the history of the world would ever think that due to close proximity of postings, or for that matter, notice said proximity.
b. I really appreciate the lower level of crazy that came from Rebs taking me in.

Does that make me sound like a stray? I'm cool with that, in reality, I probably need about as much care as a baby bird with a broken wing sometimes.

WARNING: I know I've been away a while, working on the Farmyland blog which I feel has to be more mature. spiritual, serious since teens from the ministry, their parents, & potential donors will be looking at it. So here is where you'll get the random minutiae. Enjoy.

where have I been?

I have been here:

www.farmingandes.com

Join me!

long overdue

I know, I know I've been neglectful. So let's begin.

Why are we so happy?

Besides the usual living-an-incredibly-blessed-newly-wedded-life-in beautiful-Northern-California way? 

Because we are moving on to something incredibly exciting & adventurous & inspiring.  We got the job. We're moving to Bethlehem Farm in West Virginia to live a crazy, prayer-filled, intentional life of service & simplicity.

So, yes, the pictures from my last post are from our trip out there. We spent 9 days in there getting to know the community members, seeing what life may be like there, & exploring what our areas our responsibility may be. And we loved it. The slogan of Bethlehem Farm is, "Welcome Home" and we felt very welcomed home. This was the end of an almost 2 year process of applying & it truly seems like a great fit, dare I say, "calling" for us.

I've been creating a website to explain this whole deal to the world at large, or perhaps just family & friends so that's part of the blogging neglect. When it's up you'll be some of the first to know.

Some logistics in the meantime, we're moving sometime in September. Right now I'm still at my job (& will be until they tell me to leave), the teens in the ministry were quite shocked & that's been difficult but it'll be OK. And... I think that's all for now. 

More later.

Much more!

high jinx???

i hope not!

credit: lifted from their facebook page. I always forget to take pictures.

it's quite fun

for me to check out what everyone is reading as I walk through the aisle of a plane.

The best was two summer ago when everyone was reading the last Harry Potter book & everyone wanted to talk about it without giving anything away. It was like a nation-wide community builder.

I wish we could have more of those. 

What do ya'll want to read this summer?

reward

I was driving very early this morning & heard about how they're offering a $100,000 reward for information on who cut the fiber optics cable yesterday downing all of AT&T phones line.  And I think to myself, 

"I should tell them who did it! We could really use $100,000." 

Totally ignoring the fact that I have no idea who cut the fiber optics cable yesterday.

So apparently I'm going into the Harriet the Spy biz. 

Any leads would be appreciated.

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