i believe

this is true! For me anyway. 

And I'm watching Love Actually RIGHT NOW!

On a sidenote, heading to Michigan today & REALLY should be packing right now.  So no more blogging until about 2009.

Happy Holidays!  Traveling Mercies!

a few things that make me happy

1. Eating unholy amounts of clementines for breakfast after running with Jenna in the morning.

2. Watching Scrooged with Rebby last nights while drinking hot chocolate whilst our Christmas tree & candles twinkled. Twinkles are magic you know.

3. CakeWrecks. Check out this blog. I dare you not to tear up with laughter.

4. The fact that part of my work day will include baking cookies for my teen ministers. I will do it in the parish office thus enticing all my co-workers to taste-test & therefore LOVE ME!

What's making you happy today?

wanna hang out?

On Monday nights I'm usually all on my lonesome because Rebs is doing a year-long retreat & the meetings are from 6-9pm. I kinda like the lone time but sometimes I just want to hang out with Katie. I was drinking wine & making some more ornaments for our tree (pics to come) & I kept thinking how much more fun it would be if I could just call her to come on over. I want to get a little bit drunk & walk around or sit in the hot tub  & talk about nothing. I want to hang out with Katie.

And while we're at it I want a few more super comfy, close girls friends that are more geographically convenient. 

Please, Santa?

a sign that i am a married californian

I am in bed, covered with the following: 

• 1 sheet
  
• 1 synthetic poly-fur fleece blanket
  
• 1 goose-down filled comforter
  
• 1 large blanket I made for Rebs by stitching together 2 pieces of fleece together for our 1st Christmas together
  
• 1 quilt my aunt made me when I graduated from college & moved to CA
  
• 1 quilt from Target, the one our bedroom is decorated around - you've heard that theory right? "When decorating a bedroom start with the bedding."
  
• 1 comforter that has been with me through college, Camp Geneva, Camp Manitoqua, the Convent, the Ghetto, 2 other apartments, all significant break ups in my life, & is a good one for nephew naps
  
• 1 afghan that usually resides on our couch
  

I am NOT covered with:

• 1 (my) husband
  

AND I AM FREEZING!!!

also, it's getting a bit desperate

around these parts. A no TP, dental floss, eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches fo' DAYZ kind of desperate.  

I'll be babysitting my 18 month old Nnephew E-man tomorrow... Babies like running errands don't they?  He'll probably even offer to vacuum....

I do hates to vacuum.

the word of the day is

I could not focus on one dang thing for one dang minute, I do not know why.  It's not so good because now I'll have to squeeze in a significant amount of work on my 2 supposed days off.

The word of the night is:

because I realized due to his working a school event on Fri-Sat I won't get to spend any quality time with Rebs until Sat. night when we have a work dinner to go to.  Sunday is our 6 month anniversary & since I work on Sun we won't really get to celebrate. At least not in the pull out all stops, ignore the world, aren't we special we're in love kinda way I would like.  It'll be much more of the what can we fit into our schedules-schedules? well, there goes the romance, kinda way.

So sad. I will miss him SO MUCH this weekend!

gratitude month

I always mean to celebrate Gratitude Month in November & write a card of thanks to someone special everyday. How many did I write last year: 2 This year: 0 

And that is just wrong when you think about how many wedding thank you's have yet to be sent. 

SIGH. There's always next year.

Yes, when I feel insecure about not having anything exciting to write I do attach unrelated & flattering photos of myself. Thanks for asking.

Look at that hair! Why, oh why did I cut it???

do you like?

the new blog look? I needed more color.  I'm going to try to post pictures of our home & then you'll see the love for color even more. Just for fun I'll even attached a pic of the other header I created back in the day

.

So I didn't post at all on my days off & then I super-saturate you on my first day back... what's that all about???

???

the talk

This is the talk I gave at the parish retreat a few weeks ago. I'm telling you now it will make a whole lot more sense if you click here & read the passage I was speaking on.

A few years ago a pastor told me when studying parables a good place to start is to try on every role in the story & whichever role is the most uncomfortable- that's the one we're supposed to focus on. Think about it: everyone wants to be the prodigal son who is welcomed back into the loving arms of a forgiving father but sometimes we have to admit we act more like a jealous older brother who doesn't like a sinner getting a second chance.

And so it was with this parable today: I want to be the fig tree who gets a second chance. Or even the gardener who sees something more in the tree than is readily apparent. But the role I am uncomfortable in is the man who wants to give up. There have been times in my life when I have done just that. Where I have decided that a person or situation had treated me to badly, or wronged me in someway. When I have wondered, "What is the use of keeping this person in my life?" But it's been those other times, the times I gave someone another chance or a situation more care, those have been the times that I have been most richly rewarded.

Many of teens have heard the story of how the first time I met Rebs I said to myself, "Oh, this is the guy I am going to marry." And after some initial crossed messages we began dating. What most people don't know is that after 3 years of being together, of being in the longest, most significant relationship life of my life, Rebs broke up with me.  Our relationship had been rocky for a while but for me, I was in it for the long haul & figured we would work through anything. Rebs did not see it that way. The break up was devastating. I cannot describe to you how pain I was in at that point in my life. And my instinct was to completely cut off all contact with him immediately. I think the exact prayer was something like, "God, please erase every singly memory & any tiny reminder of Rebs from my whole life, forever. And please send more chocolate."

I was the man who wanted to uproot a barren tree, Doesn't that seem a bit drastic on the tree owner's part? How hard is it to visit a field & check on a tree once a year? But I think he wants to get rid of the tree because he doesn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed again.

I was the same way" I didn't want to be reminded of Rebs because I wanted to stop hurting & I didn't want to get my hopes up & be hurt even more.

But even in the initial, horrible post-break up period both Rebs & I heard a nagging voice: in prayer, in the voices of those around us, in our own hearts that said, "There's something more there. This is not the end of this story." 

Enter the manure.

And the heavy digging.

Because, it turns out that just checking in once in a while is not enough. It turns out that just hoping for a good outcome doesn't ensure one will happen. For Rebs & I the work included a time of solitude spent praying & healing & growing on our own. The work was difficult & unpleasant & sometimes, just plain stinky because we had to dig in & think about how we had gotten to such a dead place in our relationship.

And then we had to do that same work together. We started small & we met once a week for coffee & walks & prayer & conversations about what we had learned about ourselves & each other & love & God's will in our lives.

And it took some time.

And it took some hard work.

But all of that, in the end, allowed the good fruit to grow. And in June Rebs & I were married. And since I'm still a newlywed I'm tempted to end this story with, "And we lived happily ever after!" But I won't. Instead I'll end with this:

I know that our relationship is stronger & the fruit is sweeter because we went through that break up & we listened to that voices saying, "Give it time, give it some work." And we were willing to do so.

Where is God telling you, "There's something more here. This is not the end of the story."? Are you willing to give it some time? Are you willing to pour some prayer on it?  To dig in & face what you don't want to face?  My prayer for all of us tonight is that we continue to have hope, to live out that hope. Because I have seen how, when we're willing to do God's work in our dirty little live, good things can grow. 

monday nights

Rebs is out late at a retreat every Monday. This time of year it is dark & cold & night & it is so hard to motivate to go outside. So I stay in & watch movies & sometimes drink wine & sometimes eat chocolate. Tonight was one of those nights.

a momentous occasion

I didn't have a chance to post about this amazing event last week but (drum roll)

I finally became a full-fledged CALIFORNIAN!!!!

I ate & enjoyed sushi. I always said when that happened I would know I am a true Californian. 

Yay me.

Just in time to be moving to Appalachia?

 No, this is not an announcement, just a wondering.

disney pics

click to see them enlarged

seriously

wow.

Rebs won't even let me wear the same color as him. 

He thinks the matching names & jobs are enough.

disneyland!

Where have I been? Disneyland, of course!

Well, maybe not "of course". You're under no obligation to know that I was in Disneyland.

But I was & it was great & I recommend that you all get yo'self there as soon as possible. Especially during the holidays. it is so great & beautiful for the holidays.  In fact, now I'm in such a Christmas-y mood that I was shocked to discover I had to get up & go to work today. I was convinced I was still in school & on Christmas break. Shocker.

But still, only 2 1/2 weeks until I go to MI so not too bad.

Here's a wonderful secret: The next time we go to Disneyland (this summer) we will be bringing my fantastic nephew Cowboy. It's going to be his Christmas present from us!  He will be so excited & have so much fun!!! But shhh! Don't tell him! It's a surprise!

I'll attached some photos in the next post.