long overdue

I know, I know I've been neglectful. So let's begin.

Why are we so happy?

Besides the usual living-an-incredibly-blessed-newly-wedded-life-in beautiful-Northern-California way? 

Because we are moving on to something incredibly exciting & adventurous & inspiring.  We got the job. We're moving to Bethlehem Farm in West Virginia to live a crazy, prayer-filled, intentional life of service & simplicity.

So, yes, the pictures from my last post are from our trip out there. We spent 9 days in there getting to know the community members, seeing what life may be like there, & exploring what our areas our responsibility may be. And we loved it. The slogan of Bethlehem Farm is, "Welcome Home" and we felt very welcomed home. This was the end of an almost 2 year process of applying & it truly seems like a great fit, dare I say, "calling" for us.

I've been creating a website to explain this whole deal to the world at large, or perhaps just family & friends so that's part of the blogging neglect. When it's up you'll be some of the first to know.

Some logistics in the meantime, we're moving sometime in September. Right now I'm still at my job (& will be until they tell me to leave), the teens in the ministry were quite shocked & that's been difficult but it'll be OK. And... I think that's all for now. 

More later.

Much more!

one of my goals for this week

is to make homemade bread. I have never done this before but I feel like it could be a really spiritual act. Which is weird because generally I think of the kitchen as a place of minor burns & cuts occur rather than a place of meditation & holiness. 

We shall see, I'll probably have to wait until Friday for my day off.

I have this dream of the teen girls in the ministry joining forces with the rest of the women for a daylong women's retreat. I picture many generations gathering together, making bread.  I don't know where it came from but it's a powerful image with me right now.

We shall see...

Meanwhile if you have a bread recipe I'd love to see it.

here's what it's actually about

“Lent? Who has the time????”

It’s fair to say that we are a busy people. I recently came across a quote that sums this up pretty well saying, “If the devil doesn’t cause you to sin, he’ll just keep you really busy.” And right away I was inspired & I thought, “Well, dang doesn’t that just describe my struggle with Lent? I mean, seriously, who has the time nowadays to fit in more prayer, more faith practices?”

Lent is the season that we set apart for prayer, sacrifice, & fasting. Did you know that one definition of the word “holy” is set apart? Lent is a holy time, set apart. But if you’re anything like me & the people I’ve talked to the setting apart doesn’t come easy. Even in this holy season there’s work to be done, tests to take, laundry to do, kids to be deposited at various activities. How do we slow down in all of this & truly set apart time for prayer & deep breaths & life-giving conversation? Which, after all is what Jesus spent his time doing.

I would have made a horrible Jesus. If I knew that I had just 3 years to spread God’s message of love to the world in such a way that it would last for all time I would have been going crazy. Something like this, “Alright disciples let run down this week’s schedule once more: Peter, you & James go & explain to the Pharisees one more time why its Ok to cast out demons on the Sabbath, try to use some sort of metaphor, that usually keeps them busy for a few days. John, Andrew, & the other James there are a bunch of lepers in Galilee who could use some healing, take care of that will ya? Mary, can you confirm our dinner plans at the tax collector’s house on Wednesday? Good. Let’s see what else? John the Baptist is still in prison, Lazarus just croaked, we’ve to clean out the Temple, my mother wants some help catering a friends wedding, we’re hosting a mountaintop picnic for 5,000 on Saturday. Judas seems to have wandered off some where again. Mark, can you go find him? Tomas, stop doubting! As I have explained before, “If God is for us who can be against us?” Clearly a ministry like that would have burned out in a few short months.

Instead, Jesus modeled the gift of spending quality time with those he loved. This includes time set apart to be with his Father in prayer. Immediately after being baptized Jesus spends forty days in the desert before beginning his baptism. He sets this time apart before setting out to proclaim the Gospel message. This is what Lent is meant to be for us as well, a time set apart in preparation to renew our Baptismal call, that we may live out the Gospel message more fully.

Did you ever notice how often when Jesus prays he does it on a mountain or some remote location? Think about it, climbing a mountain or going on a pilgrimage is a sacrifice. Mountaintops are so darn high & difficult to get to. It’s a serious commitment to setting time apart. In next Sunday’s Gospel Jesus & his disciples are on a mountaintop. They get away from the craziness of their life to follow God’s will. As difficult as these journeys are it is on the mountaintop that miraculous things happen. That is where God’s will & glory is revealed.

I’m not suggesting that we all need to spend this Lent wandering a desert or climbing mountains looking for glowing apparitions of prophets. But I do know that I want my life to be seeped in God’s will & glory. What I am suggesting is that prayer can be one way to achieve this. Sometimes for us with our crazy schedules, spending time in prayer with God is like climbing a mountain. First, you have decide to set apart the time when perhaps you can think of 50 things that sound more fun, easier & appealing than climbing a mountain. It takes discipline to climb a mountain, just as it does to set apart time with God. If you’re out of shape the way to the top can be incredibly grueling. If you’re out of practice with prayer this can be a frustrating thing. How do we find our way back to God? But the Scriptures remind us that God never leaves us.

Prayer is not about calling God back to us. God hasn’t moved. Prayer is about turning ourselves back to the Lord. If this is difficult for you, if the second you set yourself down for a quiet moment you either fall asleep or your mind immediately fills up with thoughts of this world, take baby steps. Don’t try to jump right into prayer. Simply seek the silence. Listen to your breath, that breath is our connection to the Holy Spirit who lives & breathes in us. This is your path to the mountaintop of the Lord. And the mountaintop is where God’s glory is revealed.

This Lent let us sacrifice that which, while it does not cause us to sin, keeps us too busy to visit the mountaintop of the Lord. Let us pray to see God’s glory in the quiet moments of our lives.

For up to date thoughts on Lent check out my musings on theIntersection Teen Ministry site.

sand in my boots, words in my mouth, & phlegm in my throat

Yep. That's the latest update.  I got the greatest pair of pink rubber galoshes in time for a retreat & for the 1st time in my history it did not rain on our retreat weekend.  But I ended up having to wear them all weekend anyway b/c I forgot to pack other shoes so I'm sure I looked slightly deranged all weekend. The retreat itself was awesome. The teens were so engaged, open, & thoughtful in all of the activities; they exceeded my expectations. Also, we had 18 great leaders which makes any retreat really fun & easy to run. So, yay! Yay! to a great experience & Yay! to it being done.

"misquote"unquote

Recently there was an article written about me & youth ministry in a local Catholic publication. That in itself is rather flattering & I feel happy that someone thinks I'm doing a good enough job to warrant a write up but the weird thing is the article quoted me. A lot. Incorrectly.  The writer was the one who interviewed me & she quoted me talking about the things I spoke about but not my actual words. Am I right here in assuming that if there are quotation marks around a statement that is supposed to be a direct quote? Part of me knows this isn't a big deal. She didn't quote me as saying anything I disagree with per say but it's just not my voice. My voice is much more, how-do-you-say? young? with-it? irreverent? funny? specific?  It's strange to have people compliment me on an article that does NOT represent me accurately at all. I try to wave it off - not out of modesty but more out of embarrassment. It's a bit like being complimened on your daring new style when really you've just ran out of clean laundry & had to make do with vaguely matching clothes. 

This has also happened to me.

And finally, I'm a sick monkey. A whiny, sick monkey.  And I'm... well, sick of it. So sick of it that I don't even want to write about it anymore.

what's the...

hand motion for thank you?  I was driving home during rush hour & a lovely, beautiful, generous person let me merge in front of him/her.  I did a lame little wave which I meant to imbue with great gratitude but I'm worried it reads like a holding a hand up to someone's face ie. "Whatever, playa!" (Yeah, I know I can't even pull that off in type.)

I know lots of non-thanking gestures - not that I use them very often. But what a universal thanking gesture?

And for fun: these deep thoughts on hand motions in the afterlife*. Enjoy.

*Possibly only funny to youth ministry types, but oh, so funny to those chosen few.

the talk

This is the talk I gave at the parish retreat a few weeks ago. I'm telling you now it will make a whole lot more sense if you click here & read the passage I was speaking on.

A few years ago a pastor told me when studying parables a good place to start is to try on every role in the story & whichever role is the most uncomfortable- that's the one we're supposed to focus on. Think about it: everyone wants to be the prodigal son who is welcomed back into the loving arms of a forgiving father but sometimes we have to admit we act more like a jealous older brother who doesn't like a sinner getting a second chance.

And so it was with this parable today: I want to be the fig tree who gets a second chance. Or even the gardener who sees something more in the tree than is readily apparent. But the role I am uncomfortable in is the man who wants to give up. There have been times in my life when I have done just that. Where I have decided that a person or situation had treated me to badly, or wronged me in someway. When I have wondered, "What is the use of keeping this person in my life?" But it's been those other times, the times I gave someone another chance or a situation more care, those have been the times that I have been most richly rewarded.

Many of teens have heard the story of how the first time I met Rebs I said to myself, "Oh, this is the guy I am going to marry." And after some initial crossed messages we began dating. What most people don't know is that after 3 years of being together, of being in the longest, most significant relationship life of my life, Rebs broke up with me.  Our relationship had been rocky for a while but for me, I was in it for the long haul & figured we would work through anything. Rebs did not see it that way. The break up was devastating. I cannot describe to you how pain I was in at that point in my life. And my instinct was to completely cut off all contact with him immediately. I think the exact prayer was something like, "God, please erase every singly memory & any tiny reminder of Rebs from my whole life, forever. And please send more chocolate."

I was the man who wanted to uproot a barren tree, Doesn't that seem a bit drastic on the tree owner's part? How hard is it to visit a field & check on a tree once a year? But I think he wants to get rid of the tree because he doesn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed again.

I was the same way" I didn't want to be reminded of Rebs because I wanted to stop hurting & I didn't want to get my hopes up & be hurt even more.

But even in the initial, horrible post-break up period both Rebs & I heard a nagging voice: in prayer, in the voices of those around us, in our own hearts that said, "There's something more there. This is not the end of this story." 

Enter the manure.

And the heavy digging.

Because, it turns out that just checking in once in a while is not enough. It turns out that just hoping for a good outcome doesn't ensure one will happen. For Rebs & I the work included a time of solitude spent praying & healing & growing on our own. The work was difficult & unpleasant & sometimes, just plain stinky because we had to dig in & think about how we had gotten to such a dead place in our relationship.

And then we had to do that same work together. We started small & we met once a week for coffee & walks & prayer & conversations about what we had learned about ourselves & each other & love & God's will in our lives.

And it took some time.

And it took some hard work.

But all of that, in the end, allowed the good fruit to grow. And in June Rebs & I were married. And since I'm still a newlywed I'm tempted to end this story with, "And we lived happily ever after!" But I won't. Instead I'll end with this:

I know that our relationship is stronger & the fruit is sweeter because we went through that break up & we listened to that voices saying, "Give it time, give it some work." And we were willing to do so.

Where is God telling you, "There's something more here. This is not the end of the story."? Are you willing to give it some time? Are you willing to pour some prayer on it?  To dig in & face what you don't want to face?  My prayer for all of us tonight is that we continue to have hope, to live out that hope. Because I have seen how, when we're willing to do God's work in our dirty little live, good things can grow. 

well... WORK!

Where have I been?" you say? "If you want to be a blogger, you actually have to blog." you say?

Yeah. Yeah I know but I also need to live a bit so I have stuff to write about. And the truth is I've been diligently working the past few days so that I can take all of next week off from work!!! Trust me it's needed. By this Sunday, I'll have worked 15 days in a row without a a single day that didn't include some sort of work, work related task, or driving up to work. :(

Today & tomorrow will be spent at a work related conference.  Which, I am taking my own sweet time actually getting to today because there been quite a few-work related late nights lately.

So, to sum up: WORK

And: expect good, fun post next week during my work-freeness.

Also, I want to post the talk I gave on Wed. but it will be hard because I can't just cut & past. :P

just discovered

The secret to inspiration in my office: laying on the floor in front of the space heater with a (good)smelly candles & writing in colored makers. 

Thank God:

I work in a building by myself.

I have enough written that the talk should be OK.

Just in case: keep your fingers crossed.

Thanks.

smelleriffic

tonight, at a ministry meeting something:

the room, the carpet, the teenagers????

SMELLED LIKE FEET.

now, as I type my hands:

SMELL LIKE ONIONS

because Rebs & I just prepped dinner for his parents who are coming over tomorrow night. There will be more cleaning.

And less smells.

We made this but added chicken. It is a good one. Try it.

sometimes at youth ministry

I reign as the Queen of the Chaos.*

Sometimes I am the ChaosMaker.

*When I was a young, rapacious reader I thought the word chaos was pronounced, "CHA- Ohs". When I finally asked my mom what that word meant there was firstly: confusion, secondly: laughter, & then, finally, a explanation.  Also, we were on a camping trip when this happened, sitting at the kitchen table of our pop-up.

That's all.