want to see the future?

read this.

I really believe this where we're headed. I've read it a few times before & thought about picking it up again recently but I couldn't face it. But its really good if you're in the right space. If you read it let me know what you think. 

I'm tempted to give myself an assignment to read it & print out new stories that correspond with the book, tuck them in the pages, & wrap it up for some future generation to find.  Sometimes I really believe when I die people will research my life as they do famous people & they'll be interested in all these random thoughts.

Surely, I can't be the only one. 

one of my goals for this week

is to make homemade bread. I have never done this before but I feel like it could be a really spiritual act. Which is weird because generally I think of the kitchen as a place of minor burns & cuts occur rather than a place of meditation & holiness. 

We shall see, I'll probably have to wait until Friday for my day off.

I have this dream of the teen girls in the ministry joining forces with the rest of the women for a daylong women's retreat. I picture many generations gathering together, making bread.  I don't know where it came from but it's a powerful image with me right now.

We shall see...

Meanwhile if you have a bread recipe I'd love to see it.

two by two or, a simple rhyme scheme

ipod perturberances

a. Earbuds -too big to make using them fun.

b. Spinny dial- surprisingly tricky for me

songs you should hear immediately

a. Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch

b. Hey Ya by Obadiah Parker

notable st. patrick's day

a. Rebs made delicious corned beef & cabbage.

b. One guest did all of the dishes. I feel surprised & very grateful. Such a thoughtful gesture.

dinner of condiments

a. middle eastern flatbread dipped in hummus

b. and cucumber tzatziki

words I CANNOT spell

a. tzatziki

b. definitely - I always have to look it up.

family news

a. someone lost a job. Sucky.

b. someone won a free honeymoon. Awesome.

luring into my California web

a. BFF hopefully coming for a week while Rebby is gone

b. trying to convince mi madre to visit for a girl's weekend

thoughts I often have while working out with my new trainer

a. "Why do you think I can do this? I don't think I can do this!"

b. "I am paying this man to hurt me?!?"

I wish to own

a. hammock

b. 2 trees from which to hang item a.

holdovers from the wedding that I dread doing

a. thank you notes - so  late it's embarrassing.

b. photo albums - how to narrow down from 2,000 photos?

need to happen around these parts STAT

a. laundry- we're this close to wearing each other's clothes, stinky but if people keep their distance at least they won't know we're re-using dirty clothes.

b. grocery shopping - see; dinner of condiments

I'm praying my guts out about

a. Los Gatos High School which has lost 3 students in the past 4 months

b. discerning the future

lenten lessons

a. prayer is good, praying in color is really working for me.

b. it's easier for me to appreciate my blessings when the weather is so nice.

days on which we have hosted parties

a. Saturday

b. Yesterday

what the economy has me wondering

a. "Why didn't Communism work out?"

b. "Why does John Stewart seem to have the most justice-oriented dialogue going right now?

it makes me sad

that the only time most people start to care & talk about certain problems is when they affect a celebrity. For example, when was the last time you thought about domestic violence before the Chris Brown/Rihanna story broke? Or considered sexual assault since Kobe was accused?  

Don't get me wrong I'm glad people are talking now, but half of the information out there is incredibly victim blaming instead of educating people about the issues.  

I guess education makes for lousy headlines on those tabloids in the grocery store.

Poverty will never get this kind of play because celebrities never have to choose between feeding their kids & paying rent.

I really hope there's a bright side to this recession/downturn/depression that results in people examining their values.  In fact, I going to stop hoping, start praying, & look at my own values right now.

we're celebrating

He chose:

pg. 27 Margaritas as we talked about the retreat he just finished.

pg. 34 Taste testing the guacamole as I prepped fajitas. 

pg. 41 Opening his present (because wifey couldn't wait to give it to him any longer) which was 2 tickets to see Brett Dennen at the Filmore next Friday. I wonder who he'll take??

pg. 86 After a laughy, fun dinner, time in the hot tub rather than a moonlight walk

pg. 107 ... well, that was my favorite part... :) 

Happy Birthday, one day early, my Love!

everytime

i hear the phrase Octo-mom I picture this:

And it scares the ova right out of me. 

Can we just use her name if we're going to keep obsessing about her in the media?

Poor babies.

(I had to change the picture- the 1st one was too friendly looking.)

corned beef & marriage

I went to the funeral of a wonderful man this week. I was so sad to hear he had passed away even though I know he is with God.  But still sad because I never told him what a wonderful person he was to me or truth be told, visit him as I had promised.  

Fr. Fry was the host of Rebs & mine first date.  The first time he & I hung out was St. Patrick's day. Fr. Fry had invited Rebs over for corned beef & cabbage. Rebs invited me. The whole time Fr. Fry told us stories & told me what a great guy Rebs was (which I already suspected). There is a funny second part to the story of our first date but this isn't that story.

At the funeral many stories were told about what a wonderful person Fr. Fry was including how he matched up quite a few other couples & cooked corned beef & cabbage for many friends. I feel honored to be one of those stories.  Fr. Fry always made me feel great just be being around him. He was a blessing to all of us & I hope to be like that someday.

Thank you Fr. Fry, I hope you're still having a good time.

and finally

what I've been reading. Actually re-reading for the fourth-ish, maybe fifth-ish time, the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde.  Such fun, funny, engaging books. Especially for people who love books or studied literature, like Harry Potter for such people. I intensely recommend them, they are pure escape for those us whose bags aren't big enough to fit an entire 2 week vacation to the Greek Isles. Enjoy!

Oh, read them in order though, or you'll be mightily confused:

The Eyre Affair

Lost In a Good Book

The Well of Lost Plots

Something Rotten

The Big Over Easy

The Fourth Bear

First Among Sequels

first fridays

are the day that some friends & I have chosen to meet at a coffee shop for some spiritual food.  We take turns planning a topic or faith practice to share & to pray.  It is great. Even though it happens a 6:00am which is not a time great things usually happen for me.

Today we prayed with color.  I love it. I am committing myself to doing this for a week. I don't want to write about it because it's not so much a word thing. So here is mine from this morning where we all shared an intention:

For more words on this I encourage you to check out this website:

www.prayingincolor.com

which reminds me

of something that is stuck in my head.

On Inauguration Day President Obama, in the midst of beautiful speech filled with hope, reality, & responsibility, said, "We will not apologize for our way of life nor waver in it's defense..."  This stood out to me because it w

as clipped & repeated on NPR so many times in the following days.

I think our way of life leads a lot to be apologized for. I think a humble look at this would be a good place to start, a recognition that our way of life has much to do with why we are here now.  

I think we should apologize for the fact that people are sleeping on our streets, children are going to school hungry, people are unable to find work. We should apologize to the rest of the world for using more than our fair share 

of the earth's resources & polluting the planet. We should apologize for allowing people to struggle for clean water & a bite to eat. We should apologize for the fact that only the wealthy have access to the best health care & education. We should apologize to women who have unplanned pregnancies, that their choices are killing their child or struggling to support their children with little help from those who care so much about birth but not about life.  We should apologize to the rest of the world for only entering into conflicts that threaten desired resources but not those that threaten non-American life. We should apologize for our worship of money, fame, power, glamour & our empty lip service to peace, love, dignity, & equality.

Ahhh!  The list is so long! But I'm going to stop because I don't want to get into a debate with any one. 

Also because I recognize that I contribute to these things as well. 

And because I just want to go sit in the arms of my fuzzy rhino now.

Image from here.

a man was sleeping on the street

this morning. To be honest, there were probably a lot of men, women, & children sleeping on the street this morning. But I was up before the sun, driving to meet with some friends for prayer & I saw this man.

I kept driving. I told myself I saw wrong, it wasn't a man curled near the mailbox post, it was bags, trash waiting to be picked up.

But I wasn't fooled.

I turned around. It was a man.

I stopped. I took the blanket out of my trunk.  I snuck up on him & laid it on him, praying he wouldn't wake up.

Because I was scared. And I didn't really want to do it. 

What if he woke up?  What if he asked for more?  What if he wanted more? A ride? Some cash? A place to stay? Things I didn't feel I could give.

What if he was angry at me? For butting in? For not butting in enough?

I didn't want to do it. But I had to. Because I have lots of blankets, a warm car, a soft bed, a comfortable home.  

Because if I hadn't it makes everything I preach nonsense.

But just doing that one thing isn't enough & I could still be a hypocrite.

I know I am called to more but often I am stopped by my unwillingness to see, by my fear, by worry I will be called to sacrifice more than I want to.

Lord, help me. 

But mostly, help me help him & all the others sleeping on the street.

another glimpse

into our marriage:

It starts with markerboard messages...

Rebs, one morning when I ask him to let me sleep in instead of waking me up to say goodbye:

"I love you, Honey,

so much more than a bunny." adds a sketch of a bunny.

I respond:

"Bunny!?? Yum!"

Later in the week while at a conference I steal his notebook to draw these:

I just want to keep him on his toes.

npr junkie

yes, that is me. I listen to it all the time especially in the car.  But right now listening to it makes me want to spend time in the arms of a giant, fuzzy hippo.

I know hippos aren't fuzzy. I suppose that's why God sent me Rebs, who is. 

I love it! And the rest of him!

here's what it's actually about

“Lent? Who has the time????”

It’s fair to say that we are a busy people. I recently came across a quote that sums this up pretty well saying, “If the devil doesn’t cause you to sin, he’ll just keep you really busy.” And right away I was inspired & I thought, “Well, dang doesn’t that just describe my struggle with Lent? I mean, seriously, who has the time nowadays to fit in more prayer, more faith practices?”

Lent is the season that we set apart for prayer, sacrifice, & fasting. Did you know that one definition of the word “holy” is set apart? Lent is a holy time, set apart. But if you’re anything like me & the people I’ve talked to the setting apart doesn’t come easy. Even in this holy season there’s work to be done, tests to take, laundry to do, kids to be deposited at various activities. How do we slow down in all of this & truly set apart time for prayer & deep breaths & life-giving conversation? Which, after all is what Jesus spent his time doing.

I would have made a horrible Jesus. If I knew that I had just 3 years to spread God’s message of love to the world in such a way that it would last for all time I would have been going crazy. Something like this, “Alright disciples let run down this week’s schedule once more: Peter, you & James go & explain to the Pharisees one more time why its Ok to cast out demons on the Sabbath, try to use some sort of metaphor, that usually keeps them busy for a few days. John, Andrew, & the other James there are a bunch of lepers in Galilee who could use some healing, take care of that will ya? Mary, can you confirm our dinner plans at the tax collector’s house on Wednesday? Good. Let’s see what else? John the Baptist is still in prison, Lazarus just croaked, we’ve to clean out the Temple, my mother wants some help catering a friends wedding, we’re hosting a mountaintop picnic for 5,000 on Saturday. Judas seems to have wandered off some where again. Mark, can you go find him? Tomas, stop doubting! As I have explained before, “If God is for us who can be against us?” Clearly a ministry like that would have burned out in a few short months.

Instead, Jesus modeled the gift of spending quality time with those he loved. This includes time set apart to be with his Father in prayer. Immediately after being baptized Jesus spends forty days in the desert before beginning his baptism. He sets this time apart before setting out to proclaim the Gospel message. This is what Lent is meant to be for us as well, a time set apart in preparation to renew our Baptismal call, that we may live out the Gospel message more fully.

Did you ever notice how often when Jesus prays he does it on a mountain or some remote location? Think about it, climbing a mountain or going on a pilgrimage is a sacrifice. Mountaintops are so darn high & difficult to get to. It’s a serious commitment to setting time apart. In next Sunday’s Gospel Jesus & his disciples are on a mountaintop. They get away from the craziness of their life to follow God’s will. As difficult as these journeys are it is on the mountaintop that miraculous things happen. That is where God’s will & glory is revealed.

I’m not suggesting that we all need to spend this Lent wandering a desert or climbing mountains looking for glowing apparitions of prophets. But I do know that I want my life to be seeped in God’s will & glory. What I am suggesting is that prayer can be one way to achieve this. Sometimes for us with our crazy schedules, spending time in prayer with God is like climbing a mountain. First, you have decide to set apart the time when perhaps you can think of 50 things that sound more fun, easier & appealing than climbing a mountain. It takes discipline to climb a mountain, just as it does to set apart time with God. If you’re out of shape the way to the top can be incredibly grueling. If you’re out of practice with prayer this can be a frustrating thing. How do we find our way back to God? But the Scriptures remind us that God never leaves us.

Prayer is not about calling God back to us. God hasn’t moved. Prayer is about turning ourselves back to the Lord. If this is difficult for you, if the second you set yourself down for a quiet moment you either fall asleep or your mind immediately fills up with thoughts of this world, take baby steps. Don’t try to jump right into prayer. Simply seek the silence. Listen to your breath, that breath is our connection to the Holy Spirit who lives & breathes in us. This is your path to the mountaintop of the Lord. And the mountaintop is where God’s glory is revealed.

This Lent let us sacrifice that which, while it does not cause us to sin, keeps us too busy to visit the mountaintop of the Lord. Let us pray to see God’s glory in the quiet moments of our lives.

For up to date thoughts on Lent check out my musings on theIntersection Teen Ministry site.

one time, i thought about being a nun...

but it was Lent & it turned out I just really needed some chocolate.